Monty Python Quotes

Can you fill the blanks in these Monty Python quotes.
Quiz by Quizmaster
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Last updated: March 31, 2021
First submittedMarch 4, 2013
Times taken19,210
Rating4.94
4:00
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 / 18 guessed
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Movie / show
Quote
Flying Circus
And now for something completely different
Flying Circus
This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker.
Flying Circus
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition
Flying Circus
I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay. I sleep all night and I work all day.
Holy Grail
It's just a flesh wound
Holy Grail
Bring out yer dead
Holy Grail
Well, she turned me into a newt!
A newt?
I got better.
Holy Grail
You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together
Holy Grail
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government
Holy Grail
What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow
Holy Grail
We are the Knights who say... NI
Holy Grail
You must return here with a shrubbery or else ... you shall not pass through this wood alive!
Holy Grail
You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest... with... a herring
Holy Grail
If she weighed the same as a duck... she's made of wood
And therefore...
...A witch!
Meaning of Life
Every sperm is sacred
Meaning of Life
And finally, monsieur, a wafer-thin mint
Life of Brian
All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order,
irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system and public health, what have
the Romans ever done for us?
Life of Brian
He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
+6
Level 55
Apr 16, 2013
Ah, I simply LOVE this quiz! "Monty Python And The Holy Grail" has to be my favorite movie of all time!
+6
Level 55
May 23, 2018
More than five years later, and it's still my favorite movie ever.
+1
Level 65
Dec 5, 2018
Five years later than what? It's over 40 years old!
+6
Level 48
Dec 6, 2018
5 years from the first comment...
+1
Level 69
Apr 16, 2013
Haha great quiz....got 14. Keeper of the sacred words Ni, Peng and Nee-Wom
+3
Level 68
Apr 16, 2013
So I was going to try Ecki-ecki-ecki-ftang... for what the knights say. But I couldn't remember it entirely.
+1
Level 86
Apr 16, 2013
Got them all with 3:10 left. Love Love LOVE Monty Python.
+4
Level 80
Dec 5, 2018
No you don't.
+8
Level 48
Dec 6, 2018
Look this isn't an argument, it's just contradiction.
+3
Level 74
Apr 1, 2021
No it isn't.
+3
Level 74
Apr 1, 2021
Yes it is.
+2
Level 83
Apr 1, 2021
Waiter, this conversation isn't very good.
+6
Level 89
Apr 16, 2013
10 of 16 from Holy Grail?? Could use a little diversification--How to Irritate People is surprisingly unrepresented here!

(Apologies if I miscounted)

+1
Level 20
Apr 17, 2013
This kind of quiz would be hard for me to make because every thing they say is an amazing quote, I wouldn't be able to choose!
+1
Level 29
Apr 17, 2013
I'm pretty sure the quote is "with this herring" rather than 'with a herring'.
+3
Level 20
Apr 18, 2013
No, its with a herring, sadly I've seen the movie way too many times to not know that.
+2
Level 40
May 18, 2013
the actual quote is: "Tis but a flesh wound"
+1
Level 78
Apr 2, 2021
I think he says "Tis but a scratch" about the first arm, and "It's just a flesh wound" about the second.
+1
Level 67
Jul 3, 2013
Love this! Amazing how much I remember considering I haven't seen the show or movies in years!
+1
Level 73
Jul 14, 2013
A Monty Python quiz! My neeples explode with delight! Probably should have one for Holy Grail, one for Flying Circus, and one for Life of Brian and The Meaning of Life. Also, I was wondering, do you have any cheese at all?
+1
Level 45
Dec 6, 2013
You do know the line is actually "Tis but a flesh wound"?
+4
Level 48
May 25, 2014
No, 'it's just a flesh wound' is fine, you're thinking of 'tis but a scratch.
+5
Level 64
Apr 17, 2014
Fun quiz, but a little Holy Grail heavy. Could use more Life of Brian and the Meaning of Life.
+1
Level ∞
Mar 31, 2021
Added two from Life of Brian.
+3
Level 83
Apr 1, 2021
I guess "How shall we ____ off, o Lord?" is a bit much for this site, but still one of the funniest Python lines.
+1
Level 74
Jun 14, 2014
Reading the feeback on this one is almost as fun as doing the quiz
+2
Level 58
Sep 12, 2015
What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
+5
Level 81
Sep 12, 2015
I wasn't expecting the question about the Spanish Inquisition.
+3
Level 81
Sep 12, 2015
A comfy chair and soft pillows maybe rather?
+2
Level 37
Sep 8, 2020
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition
+3
Level 78
Sep 12, 2015
I really need to watch some Monty Python. They sound hilarious.
+2
Level 67
Dec 5, 2018
Yes, you really do.
+1
Level 73
Sep 12, 2015
Nobody expects the Spanish Inqisition
+2
Level 71
Sep 13, 2015
Dammit, "Herring", not "Haddock"!!
+1
Level 48
Dec 5, 2018
I did the same thing
+3
Level 60
Jan 14, 2020
How could he possibly cut down a tree with a haddock?
+1
Level 54
Jan 8, 2021
Did we get the wrong copy? I was convinced it was a Haddock for quite some time
+1
Level 90
Apr 1, 2021
Me too! As well as other fish species, tuna, bass, trout... took me forever to remember herring!
+1
Level 71
Apr 1, 2021
Fair point, Atkinson. I feel pretty silly right now.
+2
Level 65
Sep 13, 2015
I knew my student days learning Python sketches by heart all those years ago weren't completely wasted and would come in useful sometime! Hence my 16/16 with plenty of time to spare.
+1
Level 50
Sep 14, 2015
Great quiz, but could you accept different spellings of Ni e.g. Ne or Nee ?
+1
Level 60
Sep 21, 2015
Slight over-reliance on the films, but I guess that's how most people come into contact with Python, since the original shows are rarely broadcast these days.
+2
Level 71
Sep 25, 2015
I didn't have the salmon mousse
+1
Level 59
Nov 4, 2015
Self confessed Pythonite! The hardest part of that quiz was my inability to spell inquisition correctly.
+1
Level 75
Aug 1, 2016
Whilst I remembered it was a fish, it took me a while to work out what kind. Though herring seems fairly obvious in retrospect.
+8
Level 67
Nov 18, 2016
I don't know about anyone else, but "Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords" is sounding pretty good as a system of government these days...
+6
Level 65
Dec 5, 2018
Great comment from 2 years ago, and even more true today, with both the UK and USA playing fast and loose with the "U"...
+3
Level 83
Apr 1, 2021
I'd pay to see some watery tart throw swords at a convention.
+1
Level 73
Feb 13, 2017
Too Holy Grail-centric!
+1
Level 27
Aug 22, 2018
This quiz made me happy lol ... less than 25 seconds to finish it ... i know these quotes well
+4
Level 57
Dec 5, 2018
Eh, It's too Holy Grail centric; either make the whole quiz about the Holy Grail and change the title or add some more questions not about the Holy Grail.
+1
Level 71
Dec 5, 2018
What did the _____ ever do for us?
+1
Level 56
Dec 5, 2018
Romans!
+3
Level 67
Dec 5, 2018
Extreme curmugeonly amount Life of Brian, very little Meaning of Life.

Other than that damned good quiz, could have done with a blancmange at Wimbledon here and the world's deadliest joke there though.

I mean, blessed are the cheesemakers.

+3
Level 67
Dec 5, 2018
"Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!"
+1
Level 67
Dec 5, 2018
Fun fact: If you put this funniest joke in the world into Google Translate, it returns a fatal error.
+1
Level 47
Jan 6, 2019
Because most if it is gibberish
+1
Level 77
Nov 18, 2019
Translation I got was:

When is the noun git and Slotermeyer? Yes! Atherhund or the Flipperwaldt gersput!

+1
Level 59
Oct 17, 2019
Grr, missed 3 and I knew them when I saw the answers!
+1
Level 69
Mar 2, 2020
I was disappointed that there were no quotes from Life of Brian. My favorite.
+4
Level 54
Jan 8, 2021
He's not ___ _______, he's a very naughty boy

I'm _____ and so's my wife

I have a good friend in Rome called ______ ______

+1
Level ∞
Mar 31, 2021
Added two from Life of Brian!
+1
Level 75
Jun 16, 2020
Monty Python are overrated .Life of Brian is easily the best thing they've done , its a great movie .Mr creosote is a funny sketch , and there is a reason they keep showing the dead parrot sketch on programmes about the sketch show is because it the only really funny sketch.I have watched all of their stuff . Holy Grail is just stupid.
+1
Level 73
Apr 1, 2021
I agree. I'm not having things getting silly.
+1
Level 44
Sep 2, 2020
Help! Help! I'm being repressed!!
+1
Level 60
Nov 19, 2020
I was hoping to find "Does anyone find this risible?", or the splitters quote or "Romanes eunt domus".
+2
Level 68
Feb 23, 2021
People called Romanes they go the 'ouse?
+2
Level 73
Apr 1, 2021
I did try 'waffer' as the correct spelling...
+3
Level 82
Apr 1, 2021
As did I, and most disappointed I was.
+1
Level 71
Apr 1, 2021
Ditto.
+3
Level 84
Apr 1, 2021
What? No question on Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle-dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein-nürnburger-bratwustle-gerspurten-mitzweimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shönendanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm?
+1
Level 74
Apr 1, 2021
That's a type-in for the ages....
+1
Level 65
Apr 3, 2021
Makes me want some Venezuelan beaver cheese.