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It's the bottom of the ninth against the Texan in a bathing suit Filled with more artificial ingredients than a Baby Ruth It may be way too soon but I'm calling my shot And I'm not talking about those Italian syringes you brought! The Sultan of Swat will knock you right outta the park And round the bases to the sound of up-roaring applause While you hang your head in shame and disgrace because You got lost and forgot what real sportsmanship was! You look tired, kid, you've got Sheryl crows feet eyes Pedal home to France, and maybe bring me back some fries! Cause if you step to Ruth on the mic, I'll fan your fancy bike and all Yerr out, with three strikes, and just one ball!
babe ruth vs lance armstrong
Oh, is it me? Well, here's my first issue I barely even know enough about you to diss you But do you guys honestly think that I'd screw this feud up And lose to the dude a huge toothy cootchie chewed up? That's bananas! I do damage when I brandish my katanas Man, I'll slice you up then vanish in my ladybug pajamas I'm one of a kind, you're a Xerox of your papa Doing temp work for Vader and odd jobs for Jabba I'm tight, you're mad baggy; I'm toned, you're so flappy Mad cause Sam Jackson killed your clone daddy Somebody oughta put a bounty on that cape Maaaybe I'll write a letter, and mail it in your face
deadpool vs boba fett
Rain, old man? This is hardly a drizzle You couldn't give the women in my homeland the sniffles You can keep your astronomers, I'll sail with the conquerors For thousands of kilometers, discovering the continents I'm alpha dog dominant, you can't beat me I will drop you like Greece's GDP Send you deeper underground than the depths of your Hades Now make like your daddy and swallow my babies
zeus vs thor
Pass me a cigar and a large glass of brandy I'm about to take you out prematurely, like your family I'm the Rhyme Minister, fresh in a hat and dinner jacket You look like a mix of EpicLLOYD and a Pringles packet! I was saving the planet from an axis of darkness While you were back home, opening national parks, yes! You were born asthmatic, you're going to choke hard While I wake up every day and chain smoke cigars! I'll fight you on the beaches, I'll fight you on the beats, yes! Any way you want to fight I'll fight ya and I'll beat ya, see? I might be battling you even though I'm toasted But tomorrow I'll be sober and you'll still be roasted!
winston churchill vs theodore roosevelt
Go back in your well, you giggling sewer ginger You lost to a turtle that wasn’t even a ninja When I flow I go Mark Ham with ill zingers! I steal the show like Bob Kane stole from Bill Finger! (Ha-ha-ha!) I spit acid, be wowed, every joke of mine stings! You’re three night lights in a cloud beat by the kid from Stranger Things! When I compare your antics to the fiendish schemes I revel in They pale like the moonlight you can dance with the devil in
joker vs pennywise
I come strapped with six pistols and a dagger Walk under the black flag with a scallywag swagger Ain't no parrot on my shoulder and no rings in my ear I'm an irate pirate, real swashbuckling buccaneer Beef with me? Please! I'm the high seas Caesar My cold heart is many degrees beneath the deep freezer You're an obese greasy sleaze squeezing a diseased peter That no skeezer would touch if she had fifty foot tweezers Don't start a war with me, you're not hardcore I'll pimp-slap those face scars of yours, port and starboard You spent time in Alcatraz, I'm sure you were fine If you dropped the soap as little as you drop dope rhymes
al capone vs blackbeard
They say your father was a great man, you must be what's left Need to stop hatin' on gays, let 'em teach you how to dress You've got the momma jeans, and a Mister Fantastic face So rich and white it's like I'm running against a cheesecake! Republicans need a puppet and you fit Got their hands so far up your rear, call you Mitt I'm the head of state, you're like a head of cabbage 'Bout to get smacked by my stimulus package You're a bad man with no chance, you can't even touch me I got four more years (two termz!) in the White House, just trust me I hoped you saved your best rhymes for the second half Cause right now, I'm 47% through kicking your ass
mitt romney vs barack obama
When in the course of human events It becomes necessary for a battle to commence Then kplow! I hit 'em with the illness of my quill I'm endowed with certain unalienable skills Let me run down my resume, will ya? Set up a little place called the United States Sound familiar? I told King George he could eat a fat dick When it comes to declaration I'm the first draft pick I'll topple any tyrant, so kings and pirates beware I'm so down with revolutions, I invented the swivel chair I've many volumes on my shelves, it's true But I've yet to read the three books you wrote about YOU Looking like a skunk in a three piece suit Didn't come back from Paris to battle Pepe Le Pew First Secretary of State, VP number two Not to mention third president, the fuck'd you do?
thomas jefferson vs frederick douglass
Well, I conclude that your methods are the wackest You wouldn't even pass in one of my classes! Every action has an equal and an opposite reaction Except for when we both start rapping! I accelerated the mind of mankind to a higher plane of understanding And I can calculate the weight and the size and the shape of the shadow of the mind you're standing in! And I will leave you with a page from a book I wrote at half of your age to rebut The integral sec y dy from zero to one-sixth of pi is log to base e of the square root of three times the sixty-fourth power of what?