Cookie Clicker - Cookie Variants

"There used to be a cookie here. Now there isn't. Good heavens, what did you DO?!"

"This is the cookie you've been clicking this whole time. It looks a bit dented and nibbled on, but it's otherwise good as new."

"We all gotta start somewhere."

"Tasty, if a little unimaginative."

"No raisin to hate these."

"Get yourself some jam cookies!"

"Flaky, but not unreliable. Some people go crazy for these."

"Sometimes you feel like one of these. Sometimes you don't."

"Tastes like a morning stroll through a fragrant forest, minus the cloud of gnats."

"Some experts have pointed to the walnut's eerie resemblance to the human brain as a sign of its sentience - a theory most walnuts vehemently object to."

"Let me tell you about cashews. Cashews are not nuts, but seeds that grow out of curious red or yellow fruits - which can be eaten on their own, or made into drinks. The shell around the nut itself contains a nasty substance that stains and irritates the hands of whoever handles it for too long. But that's okay, since now that you've read this you'll make sure it doesn't get into the cookies! Oh, you've already eaten a bunch? Okay then."

"I know what you'll say. It's just cocoa butter! It's not real chocolate! Oh please."

"A strange inversion of chocolate milk. For those who are a little bit too hardcore for white chocolate, but not hardcore enough for dark."

"They're macadam delicious!"

"DOUBLE THE CHIPS DOUBLE THE TASTY (double the calories)"

"Orteil's Favorite."

"CHOCOVERDOSE."

"These absorb light so well you almost need to squint to see them."

"These dazzling cookies absolutely glisten with flavor."

"Look to the cookie."

"..."

"True to their name."

"If it ain't Dutch, it ain't much."

"Not to be confused with macarons. These have coconut, okay?"

"For your growing cookie empire, of course!"

"Unforgettable!"

"Palmier than you!"

"You could probably play hockey with these. I mean, you're welcome to try."

"The name implies they're made of sand. But you know better, don't you?"

"You like to bite the legs off first, right? How about tearing off the arms? You sick monster."

"Evergreens in pastry form. Yule be surprised what you can come up with."

"Dipped in a lab-made substance darker than the darkest cocoa (dubbed "chocoalate")."

"Elaborated on the nano-scale, the coating on this biscuit is able to refract light even in a pitch-black environment."

"Cleaned and sanitized so well you'd swear they're actual biscuits."

"These never go out of tile."

"A princely snack! The holes are so the chocolate stuffing can breathe."

"A square cookie? This solves so many storage and packaging problems! You're a genius!"

"These melt right off your mouth and into your heart. (Let's face it, they're rather fattening.)"

"It's like two chocolate chip cookies! But brought together with the magic of cream! It's fiendishly perfect!"

"Cookies with a soul. Probably."

"The secret is in the patented swirly glazing."

"One tiny candied fruit sits atop this decadent cookie."

"Close, but no match for those extravagant cookie straws they serve in coffee shops these days."

"Bringing you the dizzying combination of brown flavor and beige taste!"

"Not exactly cookies, but you won't care once you've tasted one of these. They're so good, it's fudged-up!"

"These rich butter cookies are neither short, nor bread. What a country!"

"Three thought-provoking layers of creamy chocolate, hard-working caramel and crumbly biscuit in a poignant commentary of class struggle."

"The polymerized carbohydrates adorning these cookies are sure to stick to your teeth for quite a while."

"Stick a nut on a cookie and call it a day! Name your band after it! Whatever!"

"Popular for being the world's moravianest cookies."

"Army biscuits from a bakery down under, containing no eggs but yes oats."

"Glistening with cholesterol, these cookies moistly straddle the line between the legal definition of a cookie and just a straight-up stick of butter."

"In an alternate universe, "ice cream sandwich" designates an ice cream cone filled with bacon, lettuce, and tomatoes. Maybe some sprinkles too."

"One of the oldest cookies. Traditionally dipped in champagne to soften it, because the French will use any opportunity to drink."

"Covered in seeds and other earthy-looking debris. Really going for that "5-second rule."

"These melt in your hands just a little bit."

"You are in awe at the size of these chips. Absolute units."

"You get one."

"A bit of festive decorating helps hide the fact that this might be one of the blandest cookies you've ever tasted."

"Topped with a scrumptious chocolate squirt, which is something we really wish we didn't just write."

"You have no idea how these oven-less treats came to be or how they hold their shape. You're thinking either elephant glue or cold fusion."

"These make up for being the fruitcake of cookies by at least having the decency to feature chocolate."

"Non-denominational cookies to celebrate year-round deliciousness, and certainly not Christmas or some other nonsense."

"Made with syrup from a land where milk comes in bags, instead of spontaneously pooling at the bottom of your screen depending on your achievements."

"Rose water and poppy seeds are the secret ingredients of these small, butter-free cookies."