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Spongebob Episode by Quote
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Last updated: January 20, 2018
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March 1, 2017
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"Help... can't... open mayonnaise."
Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy II
We should take Bikini Bottom, and push it somewhere else!"
Sandy, Spongebob, and the Worm
"But I can see it."
Pranks A Lot
"There's a nasty barnacle under table nine."
"Aha, a confession. Next time think before you litter."
Squid on Strike
"On time percentage: 12%"
Spongebob Meets the Strangler
"Hey, the light changed"
"... this huge guy who's carrying the real competitor: Patrick Star!"
The Fry Cook Games
"Hey, I'm not your grandfather."
The Sponge Who Could Fly
"What did you do to my drink?!"
Fools in April
"The squeaky bolt on this door was driving me crazy."
"What about root beer?"
"Hey, I'm gonna tie your shoes if you don't give that back."
"Dude, your teaching art at the Rec Center. Calm down."
"I'm not sure. I feel... a disturbance."
"Can we say plants from Texas are dumb?"
"I thought this was a restaurant not a gutter mouth convention."
"Well, maybe it is stupid, but it's also dumb.
The Camping Episode
"This isn't your average everyday darkness. This is... advanced darkness."
"But don't genius live in a lamp?"
I'm With Stupid
"You promised these children Krabby the Clown, but all I saw out there was... Cheapy the Cheapskate."
"Mr. Krabs, I want to go to bed!"
"Why? Why did you set me on fire, Spongebob?"
"Not until four."
I Had an Accident
"All those wrong notes you played made it sound more original."
"She doesn't like to talk about it."
"You almost tore a guys arm off for a penny."
Born Again Krabs
"I defy you, Heartman"
"I burnt my hand... at night."
"Patrick, that's not a ride."
"Don't touch me, I sterile."
"Is mayonnaise an instrument?"
"Squidward's last name is Tentacles?"
The Great Snail Race
"Did you think my shell was full of hot air?"
"The inner mechanisms of my mind are an enigma."
The Secret Box
"And the parrot is winning."
"I hate all of you."
"Where's the leak, ma'am?"
"Ha, great. Uhh, what do I win?"
"Why is everything chrome?"
"I'm kind of in the mood for tacos."
Welcome to the Chum Bucket
"I'd hate you even if that made sense."
New Student Starfish
"This is definitely a snail."
I Was a Teenage Gary
"Now, Gary, we can do this the hard way or the easy way. Or the medium way."
Gary takes a Bath
"Why should I waste money lighting the whole store?"
Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V
"I am not Spongebob. Those are my street clothes."
"But the door is locked and the only other way out is through the... perfume department."
"I got it. Let's get naked."
Chocolate With Nuts
" I already told you, that award is a bunch of... baloney."
Employee of the Month
"Why are we hanging around here watching a cheap imitation?"
The Smoking Peanut
"Well, I guess it's time to move again."
Party Pooper Pants
"Oh, there you are dummy. You sure come in handy."
"Not on your life, sport."
"Are you gonna order something or just make friends with the paneling?"
Krusty Krab Training Video
"Spongebob, are you trying to put me in the nuthouse?"
Squidward, the Unfriendly Ghost
"I think she should get both."
"Can you move it along, I'm all out of time cards."
"Well, you're smelly."
"It's not my wallet."
Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy III
"What's the matter, is he stupid?"
"What happens after we eat em?"
"Do I have to follow you all day?"
I'm Your Biggest Fanatic
"So, this is what it feels like... the big time! With this mop, I shape my destiny!"
"It tastes just like I dreamt it would."
No Free Rides
"May I take your hat, sir. May I take your hat, sir. May I..."
"C'mon, Spongebob, tackle me."
"He only liked me for my shorts!"
"How tough am I? How tough am I? I had a bowl of nails for breakfast."
No Weenies Allowed
"I'll give him eleven minutes."
"Who you calling Pinhead?"
Survival of the Idiots
"Listen, you crustaceous cheapskate! Squidward has been living at my house driving me crazy! And you're not gonna hire him back just because of a stupid dime!"
Can You Spare A Dime?
"Spongeboy, me bob!"
"Just like a genie!"
"I'd like to call this little number 'Striped Sweater'."
As Seen On TV
"Oh, let me try: Uh, hey punk."
Life of Crime
"That's disgusting. We just want the hat back."
One Krabs Trash
"I didn't need to see that."
"Who are you people?!"
"You said you were Spongebob, Spongebob."
"I overdid the speech again, didn't I?"
"I hate this channel."
"He likes chili."
"Thanks, Farmer Brown."
"Come on! You know... I wumbo, You wumbo, He she me...wumbo? Wumbo, wumboing, we'll have the wumbo, Wumborama... Wumbology, the study of wumbo? It's first grade, SpongeBob!"
Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy IV
"No, but I'm married."
Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy
"Guys, the talking dog at the Shell Shack is singing! C'mon."
"Why haven't I worn this yet?"
"Is it already time to ruin Squid's day?"
Home Sweet Pineapple
"Or worse, it might eat Sandy's pets."
"You really haven't got any brains at all, have ye, son?
"It's not a boulder. It's a rock! A rock! A rock! It's a big beautiful, old rock."
"Remember: Ravioli, ravioli, give me the formuoli."
"How many times have we got to teach you this lesson, old man?"
"Hey, I doubt it."
"So, you kill him. He makes you a sweater out of tears, and you kill him."
Dying For Pie
"Oh, puh-lease. I have no soul."
Just One Bite
"If I had a dollar for every brain you don't have, I'd have one dollar."
Naughty Nautical Neighbors
"Hey everybody! It's Leif Ericcson Day! Hinga-dinga-durgin!"
"Your a mystery, Spongebob."
My Pretty Seahorse
"Guess who just quit."
Big Pink Loser
"Squidward, you and your nose definitely won't fit in."
"Firmly grasp it!"
"I'm every bit as cool as Larry and if I'm not then let me be struck by... a flying ice cream truck. And live!"
Spongeguard on Duty
"And now with the addition of two, count 'em, two marshmallows."
"Not at all, boy. DEUUEAUGH!"
"I soiled the good Krusty Krab name! Soiled it! Soiled it!"
The Algaes Always Greener
"Squid's got genes! Squid's got genes!"
"I will destroy the Krusty Krab."
Squid's Day Off
"I NEED IT!"
Tea at the Treedome
"Oh, gee, SpongeBob, that's a great idea. And maybe I should cook the patties and do the dishes and wear square pants and live in a pineapple while you wait in the unemployment line!"
Your Shoe's Untied
"Do you smell it? That smell. A kind of smelly smell. A smelly smell that smells smelly."
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