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Personality Cults - Name That Miracle!

Guess the famous figure upon which a personality cult arose based on one or more of the many outrageous stories believed by that personality's devotees.
Quiz by kalbahamut
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Last updated: November 24, 2018
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First submittedJanuary 7, 2014
Times taken751
Average score42.9%
Rating3.38
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Answer
He healed cripples, raised the dead, and could translate ancient languages on golden plates seen by a conveniently small number of people.
Joseph Smith
The first time he ever played golf he got 18 holes-in-one.
Kim Jong-Il
Born of a virgin, visions told him he was the modern-day Cyrus the Great.
David Koresh
He was said to control the weather; cloudless days were called "Führer weather."
Adolf Hitler
He materialized food, changed water to wine, healed the sick, walked on water, and said he would return from the dead in the state of Karnataka.
Sathya Sai Baba
His birthplace in Predappio became a site of pilgrimage; he was always right and never fell ill.
Benito Mussolini
He healed the sick; followers ejected cancerous tumors through coughing.
Jim Jones
He could walk on water, part the sea, and after his miraculous conception and birth he immediately took seven lotus-producing steps and declared himself chief of the world.
Gautama Buddha
He invented special auditing machines that gave his followers amazing psychic powers.
L Ron Hubbard
He knew everything, made no mistakes, and adopted a name meaning "man of steel."
Josef Stalin
He told his followers he was the messiah; levitated objects including himself and even a school bus.
Charles Manson
He found a coin in a fish's mouth, scared off invisible demons, and cursed a fig tree to die.
Jesus Christ
The greatest genius in history, his teachings and mental powers allowed followers to cure deafness, defeat cancer, and win ping pong tournaments.
Mao TseTung
When he decided to preach at a pulpit instead of by a tree, the tree started crying.
Muhammad
camus
+1
Level 78
Jan 7, 2014
Seems like Superman is a mixture of Josef Stalin and Charles Manson.
kalbahamut
+1
Level 82
Jan 7, 2014
Stalin came before and Manson came after, so maybe it's more accurate to say that Superman was part Stalin and Manson was part Superman?
camus
+1
Level 78
Jan 8, 2014
Yes, indeed. Forgive my little ignorance of history ;)
kalbahamut
+1
Level 82
May 17, 2014
haha. :) it's okay. And actually I think what Manson told his followers was that he was both Jesus and God. Fun fact to bring up when you hear someone assert that the Jesus of the New Testament was the only figure in history to make such a claim (along with the fact that kings, pharaohs and all manner of assorted crackpots had been saying the same thing for at least five or six thousand years before that.
kalbahamut
+1
Level 82
May 7, 2014
Did all of you really know about Jesus's good luck finding money in fish and his hatred for fig trees? Or were you confused by some of the other clues on here?

Admittedly some of these back stories sound pretty similar. Biggest difference between Jesus and Sathya Sai Baba, for instance, is probably that in Sai Baba's case we have millions of living eye witnesses to his miracles and actual documented first-hand testimony.

tom88
+1
Level 72
Jun 9, 2016
I got jesus because I guessed him for another answer. some very similar stories here. I also probably would have tried jesus anyway because clearly he had to be on this quiz
burntfrost
+12
Level 48
May 28, 2014
"He flooded Jetpunk with vanity projects driven by his personal prejudices, thinking they would be of any interest to the kind of people who think geography is fun."
Quizmaster
+1
Level ∞
May 28, 2014
Wait, is that me?
kalbahamut
+1
Level 82
May 29, 2014
If it was between the two of us then I assume you're much closer than I'll ever be to having your own personality cult.

but I think burntfrost is mad at me because, after taking and enjoying many of my quizzes, he stumbled across one that he deemed was too ::adopts best Rush Limbaugh impression:: "LIBruhl"

Sorry about that Mr. Frost.

smartcookie17
+1
Level 45
Sep 1, 2014
If I remember correctly, burntfrost once said that their name was on a Popular Girl's Name quiz, so... that would be a girl.
kalbahamut
+1
Level 82
Sep 8, 2014
okay, Miss Frost, then...
kalbahamut
+1
Level 82
May 29, 2014
I've made two quizzes that I think I might call "vanity projects," one for sure, though only for this one did I have any reasonable hope that geography fans would enjoy. The other one I did not expect anyone to enjoy except the two or three friends of mine that I directed to it.
kalbahamut
+1
Level 82
May 29, 2014
does that constitute a "flood?"
kalbahamut
+1
Level 82
May 23, 2016
and I've since deleted the 2nd one, which really was a personal vanity project, from the site.
tom88
+1
Level 72
Jun 9, 2016
I like both geography and mythology. what's strange about that?
kalbahamut
+1
Level 82
Jun 9, 2016
I like both, as well. Seems reasonable to me.
samiamco
+4
Level 69
Dec 1, 2015
As a lifelong practicing Buddhist, who has attended seminary, been an ordained nun, and done many years of study and teaching, I can tell you that no schools of Buddhism believe that the Buddha was born of a virgin. His mother was married to his father for 20 years! There is a story that she had a dream about the spirit or essence of an elephant "entering her" the night the Buddha was conceived, but that is assumed to have occurred after, ya know, regular ol' boinking.

http://rightreason.org/2009/the-virgin-birth-of-buddha/

kalbahamut
+1
Level 82
Dec 1, 2015
hm... okay.

Maybe I had bad information. I read about his mom on Wikipedia and it says there she was married for 20 years and never conceived a child. Then she woke up one night and a white elephant "entered her womb"... so... still a bit of a magical conception story.

kalbahamut
+1
Level 82
Aug 31, 2016
I changed the clue. Hope it's acceptable now.
QRU
+1
Level 74
Sep 4, 2016
Funny quiz, although many of them had cruel endings and/or legacies.
kalbahamut
+3
Level 82
Sep 4, 2016
Possibly excepting Satya Sai Baba, didn't they all? That's the problem with suspending all reason and sense and worshiping someone as if they were a god. Nobody is a god. Nobody is deserving of worship. And usually the people at the center of these cults turn out to be real ding dongs less worthy of worship than most people.
ILikeQuizes
+2
Level 63
Sep 12, 2016
You forgot that Mussolini made the trains run on time.
kalbahamut
+1
Level 82
Sep 12, 2016
If you've been to Italy, I guess you're right: that is a miracle.
kalbahamut
+1
Level 82
Jun 6, 2017
I think the cult forming around Kim Jong Un might be even more amazing than the one for his deceased father or grandfather (the latter who is still head of state). They say that he never poops.
Djai
+2
Level 59
Jun 19, 2017
Actually... that's Kim Jong Il too. Il can also control weather and wrote 1,500 books in 3 years and composed 6 operas, loved waterslides, and had attendants check every grain of rice to see if they are the right size, weight, and color. He also invented the hamburger. Oh yeah, and my favorite, his birth was prophesied by a swallow and a new star and a double rainbow split the sky open when he was born.
kalbahamut
+2
Level 82
Jun 19, 2017
pretty amazing guy.
Djai
+1
Level 59
Jun 20, 2017
Kalbahamut, I know right! Simply amazing that one person could do so much!
chrieraux
+1
Level 17
Feb 15, 2018
"Golden plates nobody else ever saw"......

"Be it known unto all nations, kindreds, tongues, and people, unto whom this work shall come: That we, through the grace of God the Father, and our Lord Jesus Christ, have seen the plates which contain this record, which is a record of the people of Nephi...And we also testify that we have seen the engravings which are upon the plates...

Oliver Cowdery

David Whitmer

Martin Harris"

"Be it known unto all nations, kindreds, tongues, and people, unto whom this work shall come: That Joseph Smith, Jun., the translator of this work, has shown unto us the plates of which hath been spoken, which have the appearance of gold; and as many of the leaves as the said Smith has translated we did handle with our hands; and we also saw the engravings thereon...

Christian Whitmer

Jacob Whitmer

Peter Whitmer, Jun.

John Whitmer

Hiram Page

Joseph Smith, Sen.

Hyrum Smith

Samuel H. Smith"

kalbahamut
+2
Level 82
Feb 15, 2018
Where are they now? Hidden in someone's magic underwear?
kalbahamut
+2
Level 82
Feb 15, 2018
Let's say this: no credible witness ever saw them. Before they were magically whisked away by an angel. Atheists always get flak for being condescending, arrogant, rude, whatever... if people only knew how much restraint we had to exercise on a regular basis
kalbahamut
+1
Level 82
Feb 15, 2018
There you go, I changed the clue just for you.
chrieraux
+3
Level 17
Mar 2, 2018
Maybe. But I doubt that it was actually for me. Maybe 'because' of me, and for that I'm honored. I suspect you changed it because of a general predilection toward academic integrity, even when you might be making a purposefully "condescending, arrogant, rude" quiz. Which is why I bothered to bring it up.
kalbahamut
+2
Level 82
Mar 2, 2018
I think the original wording of the clue is probably still more accurate. The small number of Smith's followers who claimed to have seen the plates are more than likely liars. But... whether it was one person (or zero) who saw the plates... or 8 people from 2 families all in the same cult led by a con man that saw the plates... in either case "a conveniently small number" fits the facts.
chrieraux
+3
Level 17
Mar 2, 2018
Well, if we go into that: 11 people from 5 families. Probably the most distinguishing aspect is that most of those 11 individuals became disaffected with the 'cult' and denounced the 'con man', but none retracted their statements about the plates. Contrariwise, they reaffirmed it even after estrangement, when influences of personal attachment or financial consideration had been nullified and any reluctance to admit being deceived was already crossed. It would appear, then, that a not insubstantial number of people genuinely believed they had seen the plates.
chrieraux
+3
Level 17
Mar 2, 2018
I'm not trying to directly challenge your general incredulity regarding Joseph Smith, Mormonism, Theists, or the supernatural. But I do contend that the specific aspect we're considering is relatively sterile ground for that incredulity. But, in any case, the new wording seem to bring us closer to agreement.
chrieraux
+3
Level 17
Mar 2, 2018
On a separate note, as a lurker who has been around the site for a couple of years without a profile, I have admired your quizes and your comments for the breadth of your curiosity and the extent of your knowledge of trivia and miscellania.
kalbahamut
+1
Level 82
Mar 2, 2018
You seem to know more about the subject than I do. If what you say is true, perhaps Smith created some mock ups, showed them to some gullible people, then had them destroyed before any serious inspection of them could take place? I don't know.

Contrariwise? Sounds completely made up but I looked it up already. Thanks for teaching me a word.

IsleAuHaulte
+1
Level 89
Jun 17, 2018
I thought surely the golf one was Trump.
kalbahamut
+2
Level 82
Nov 24, 2018
Trump actually has performed real miracles, though. He got almost 20% of the country to take him seriously enough as a presidential candidate to vote for him. Sure, he was running against the 2nd-worst presidential candidate in memory, but still impressive nonetheless. Some people are gullible SOBs.
kalbahamut
+1
Level 82
Apr 6, 2019
And now it's out that Trump cheats at golf just as badly as everything else in his life and claims to have a smaller handicap than Jack Nicklaus. Not quite 18-holes-in-one ridiculous, but not too far off when compounded with all his other claims to be the best at anything and everything.
kalbahamut
+3
Level 82
Oct 13, 2021
Very tempted to add a clue: "By his own account and those of his millions of amazingly credulous followers, he was better at golf than Jack Nicklaus, better at the military than the joint chiefs, better at sniffing out Russian hacking schemes than literally every credible intelligence agency in the world, better at medicine and pandemic response than the world's leading virologists and epidemiologists (hey! his uncle was a doctor!), better at having massive hands than Jonah Falcon, better at being president than Lincoln or Washington, better at dealing with ISIS than all of the generals, better at Twitter, Facebook, social media, TV, building, campaign finance, lawsuits, bankruptcy, trade, politics, drone technology, etc. than literally anyone - frequently claiming to know more than anyone about these and other topics, and the best businessman and dealmaker in history in spite of losing over a billion dollars in one ten year period according to the IRS." Truly an tremendous man.
kalbahamut
+3
Level 82
Oct 13, 2021
oh and he also would have been the greatest soldier of all time, too, if not for those pesky bone spurs... the one thing stronger than the man himself. But he served his own tour in New York City during that period, doing things I can't repeat without being censored, and was only able to resist awarding himself the Congressional Medal of Honor because of his tremendous and unparalleled level of modesty.
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