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Answer
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In my research I discovered that the scientific name for fear of [title] is paraskavedekatriaphobia. I envision a new franchise: "Paraskavedekatriaphobia: A New Beginning," "Paraskavedekatriaphobia: Jason Lives," "Paraskavedekatriaphobia: Freddy's Nightmare," etc.
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Friday the 13th (2009)
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Roman Polanski's "[title]" was the official French entry at Cannes last May, and in the riot to get into the press screening one man was thrown through a glass door and two more found themselves amid the potted palms. It's a wonder nobody was killed in the rush to get out.
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The Tenant
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It is an allegory about a group of people who survive under great stress, but frankly I would rather have seen them perish than sit through the final three-quarters of the film.
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Blindness
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I walked into "[title]", sat down, took a sip of my delicious medium roast coffee and felt at peace with the world. How nice it would be, I thought, to give Adam Sandler a good review for a change. Goodwill and caffeine suffused my being, and as the lights went down I all but beamed at the screen. Then Adam Sandler spoke, and all was lost.
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The Waterboy
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The movie has been signed by Michael Bay. This is the same man who directed "The Rock" in 1996. Now he has made [title]. Faust made a better deal.
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Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
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How does Michael Myers support himself in the long years between his slashing outbreaks? I picture him working in a fast-food joint. “He never spoke much, but boy, could he dice those onions!”
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Halloween: H20
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The 2010 edition of "[title]" is number 8 1/2 in the series. I arrive at that number not out of a desperate desire to be seeing the Fellini film instead, but because "Freddy vs. Jason" (2003) should in all fairness count for half a film on this list, and half a film on the "Friday the 13th" list.
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A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010 remake)
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The first voice we hear in "[title]" belongs to James Earl (Darth Vader) Jones, reading the words that crawl up the screen, describing a future world in which most of the Earth is a wasteland, and humans huddle in closed, violent megacities. Jones' voice, along with the words crawling up the screen, are reminders of "Star Wars." The fact that he has to read them is a reminder that in 1977, when "Star Wars" came out, audiences didn't need to have them read. We are getting closer to the wasteland every day.
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Judge Dredd
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The philosopher Thomas Hobbes tells us life can be "poor, nasty, brutish and short." So is this movie.
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High Tension
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Hitchcock said a movie should play the audience like a piano. “[title]” played me like a drum. It is an assault on all the senses, including common. Walking out, I had the impression I had just seen the video game and was still waiting for the movie.
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Death Race
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