50 Semistupid-Stupid British Laws That Exist For Some Reason

Some of these laws don't exist currently (some do though). They were enforced in points of life. That's all i gotta say.

1. You Must Pay A 'Lump Sum' To Wear Facial Hair

I got no idea what a "lump sum" is, but using context clues, I'm guessing its money.

Anyways, why do you have to pay for wearing facial hair? Shouldn't that be a personal decision?

2. No Walking Cows Down The Street In Broad Daylight

So, apparently.....the English have a beef with cows (just like how Connecticut has a beef with pickles...I know...it's super random). But unless if you live in a farm, who owns cows these days? Even if you did, what would be the benefit of you walking it down the street?

I'm wondering why these laws exist 🤔 .

3. It Is Illegal To Attend Parties Dressed In Police Or Army Attire 

This is also extended to dressing up as a sailor. I'm still in confusion as to why you can't dress up as a sailor.

"Hey! It's me, Captain Cod!"

"Sorry Henry, that's illegal."

4. It is illegal to give alcohol to children under 5.

Now, I wouldn't say the law itself is weird. But this means that you can, in theory, give alcohol to children at home, that are still in primary school... I'm losing my brain over my own country.

5. Easter must be on the first Sunday after the second Saturday in April.

Yep, according to the Easter Act 1928, this means that many years have broken the law! Even though it currently exists, Easter can fall between 22nd March and 25th April. Why, UK, why?!

6. It is illegal to be found drunk in a pub.

Since 1839, you cannot be drunk in a licensed pub. I wonder who thought this one up...

But like it's a pub...why would you not get drunk?

Though it seems bizarre, it sort of makes sense.

8. According to the Metropolitan Police Act 1839, in Greater London, you are not allowed to:

- Fly a kite in a public place

- Play a game which annoys the residents

- Playing knock, knock, ginger (also known as ding, dong, ditch)

- Sliding on snow or ice. 

So no sledging for you!

9. You are not allowed to pay at the drive-thru with your phone!

Due to a recent law which means you must not use your phone while operating a motor vehicle (with the engine on, handbrake off). So next time you are at McDonald's, bring your card instead!

10. You must have a TV licence to watch television.

If you do not have one, then you could face a fine. The £159 per year you pay is for the BBC.

11. In Greater London, you are not allowed to carry a plank of wood along the pavement.

Unless unloading a vehicle, this applies to you. You are also not allowed to carry "hoops, ladders and wheels". What a crazy world!

12. It is illegal to jump the queue when waiting for the ticket hall of the tube.

When waiting in the line for your ticket for the London Underground, you better not walk in front of the person in front of you, or... well... LAW BREAKER ALERT!

13. It is illegal to import potatoes which are Polish.

Following the outbreak of ring rot on Polish potato farms, the UK made the Polish Potatoes Act 2004. But they still haven't repealed this act.

14. Shaking doormats, carpets or rugs on the street is illegal!

Another one from our friend, the Metropolitan Police Act 1839. However, doormats are allowed to be shook before 8am. Though, if you really think about it, 5pm Saturday is before 8am Sunday.

15. Illegal To Switch Your 'Burglar Alarm' On

Burglars be like, "Please let me into your house. I must rob you."

According to The Clean Neighborhoods Act 2005, it is an offense to activate your burglar alarm and leave it unattended.

16. You May Not Ask A Stranger For Parking Change

A police officer interrogates a random man.

Police Officer: "Sir, do you go by the name John Smith?"

Random Person (well, John Smith, but yeah): "Yes, yes I do."

Police Officer: "Did I just see you get money to pay for your parking ticket?"

Random Person: "Uhh...yes."

Police Officer: "I must arrest you for a major felony you have just committed."

Random Person: "But why? I didn't do anything wrong."

Police: "Sir, I don't make the rules. I just follow them."

What a world we live in. If asking strangers for parking change is illegal....

17. Playing 'knock-a-door-run' Or 'knock-knock-ginger'

I wish the Metropolitan Act was nonexistent. (Sorry Brits). Because once again, they have enforced a stupid law.

This one's about the ringing-the-doorbell and running prank. I didn't know it was illegal in Wales (this one is just for Wales). If there's one thing that comes good out of it...it's that the Welsh people don't need to deal with the "trick" part in trick-or treating.

18. Mince Pies May Not Be Eaten On Christmas Day

For all us Americans, just how pie or stuffing is an iconic American dish for us to eat on any occasion, mince pie is an iconic dish for Brits.

So the person who came up with this law can meet my 2 fists...You & Suck.

19. Illegal To Play Football In The Street 

Why?!?! Why does the UK love the Metropolitan Act so much? And not just that. But why does the Metropolitan Act make such stupid laws?

What's wrong with playing football in the street? Literally just what?

20. It is Illegal To Handle Salmon 'Suspiciously'

I know, I know, y'all have seen the Tom Scott video. This is a very famous law, however. Apparently, you aren't allowed to hold or handle salmon 'suspiciously'. I wonder how you do it non-suspiciously. Get it?

21. It Is Against The Law To Have A Pigsty In Front Of Your House

This is just stupid. It's not your decision if there are like 30 pigs in front of your house. I don't know why I chose 30, it just seems like the right number.

22. You Can Be Fined £1000 ($1370) For Hanging Up Your Washing Across Street

I just wanna meet the fella who came up with this idea....

23. All Beached Whales And Sturgeons Must Be Offered To the Reigning Monarch

It sounds like a tongue twister for some reason.

With context clues, I think this means that whales that are bleached and the sturgeons that bleach them must be "told to" to some royal person.

24. It Is Illegal To Fire A Cannon Within 300 Yards Of a Private House

I'm not gonna say this law doesn't make sense, then I'd be lying..

But who owns cannons these days? And why would you want to fire it only right next to a private house? What about all the public ones? 👀

25. In London, You May Not Touch Pelicans Without Permission

If you don't know what a pelican is, it's a type of bird. But they're so, so, so, so, so cute. So it's stupid to not let people touch pelicans without permission. Who would you even need to get permission from? The police? That's also stupid. Nobody wants to flag down the police when they think you have an emergency but you just ask for permission to touch a pelican.

I can just imagine this conversation happening:

Random Person (Let's Name Them Bob): "I want to touch this pelican."

Other Random Person (Let's Name Them Other Bob): "You'd be breaking a law if you do."

Random Person (Bob): "Says who?"

Other Random Person (Bob II): "Every important person there is?"

Then the police comes in the picture.

Random Person (Bob): "Yo Police Officer, come here."

Police Officer: "What is your emergency?"

Random Person (Bob): "Oh, can I touch this pelican?"

26. It Is Illegal To Linger After A Funeral

I had to search up what linger means...so I feel like I have an IQ of 2. Anyways, linger means to stay in a place longer than necessary. The sad part though is that this law had to be enforced...people should at least have that much common sense.

27. You're Not Allowed To Look After A Cow If You're Drunk 

Lmao. The UK really has a beef with cows. As much as I know that drunk people might hurt the animal, it doesn't mean the drunk person is always drunk. But what this law doesn't state is that you can't look after any other animal. 🧠

"But what if I live in an underwater city that never existed in the past!?!??!?!"

29. It Is A Public Offence To Put A British Stamp Upside Down

Lmao though...that would be such a good trick on somebody, Just gotta find the right person.

This law is just dumb though, because if a little kid is trying to learn to stamp (for some random reason), they are 99.9% likely to put it on upside down.

30. It Is Illegal To Play In The Snow

Wonder who came up with that one. Because who doesn't like snow?

31. It Is Illegal To Sound Your Horn Through Anger

The law might not sound stupid, but not when you can pay upto £1,000 if you land in court.

32. It Is Illegal To Sing "Profane" Songs In the Street

For those of you who don't know what profane means, it means: "relating or devoted to that which is not sacred or biblical; secular rather than religious." So when it comes to profane songs, football fans won't be happy.

33. It Is Illegal To Carry Your Shopping Home

This one isn't literal. Apparently, it means that it's a crime to carry a plank of wood and/or a ladder home if you bought it from a place called B & Q.

34. It Is Illegal To Gamble In The Library

So, I just laughed at this one. Like a lot. Who would have the actual brains to gamble in a library that they would have to make into an actual law?

35. It Is Illegal To Give Someone A Bad Job Reference 

Even if you actually hate the person. I can just imagine the suckish person getting the full-on advantage here because you gotta compliment them in some way, shape, or form.

36. London Hackney Carriages Must Carry A Bale of Hay And Sack Of Oats

I know how random that is, but I wasn't the one who made this mythy law. And before you say anything, no. London Hackney Carriages ARE NOT actual carriages. They're black cabs. So black cabs basically have to carry a bale of hay and a sack of oats on the roof of them.

(It's a myth. But it's really funny.)

37. It Is Illegal For A Boy Under Age 10 To See A Naked Mannequin

I know it sounds inappropriate in text, but then we realize how many times we see naked mannequins in real life. And there's only on thing to blame there. Our moms/mums. I swear, they're the only ones in the family who actually like being at the mall for 24 hours a day.

38. All Swans Are Property Of The Queen; And The Killing Of One Is A Public Offence

Just imagine if all swans belonged to the queen....

39. It Is Illegal For Pets To Mate If One Of Them Belongs To A Royal Family

I guess the royal pet or family wants to make the non-royal pet or family feel bad about themselves. Now, I've always heard that the phrase "Never assume", but why not.

40. In Scotland, If Someone Knocks On Your Door And They 'Require Use Of Your Toilet', You Must Let Them Enter

Sure, okay.

41. It Is Illegal For A Woman To Eat Chocolate On Public Conveyances

For some reason, I just laughed. I guess the UK wants to make women hate chocolate.

42. It Is Illegal To Shoot A Scottsman With A Crossbow On Sundays (But Any Other Day Is Okay)

What is with the Chick-fil-A rules? Why does everything have to be illegal on Sundays? What did Sunday do to you?

43. It Is Illegal To Operate A Cow, Horse, And Steam Engine If You're Intoxicated

So we have 2 random animals, and then a completely random vehicle. And what do you mean by 'intoxicated'? Does it mean some poisonous gas? Or some illegal potion I'm not supposed to know about?

44. It Is Illegal For Women To Wear Garments With Pockets

Well, this one is obviously fake. But imagine not having pockets....

45. It Is Illegal To Stand Within 100 Feet Of A Monarch With No Socks On

Okay, I don't know how they're related. But apparently you can relate socks with a monarch.

46. You Must Be Honest With The Taxman

If you pay income tax in the UK, you must be familiar with the TAS (another stupid act like the Metropolitan one).

The TAS, or Tax Avoidance Scheme, has made a stupid law that 'tax avoidance' must be the purpose of some thing. Idk what, but yeah...

47. Causing A Nuclear Reaction Can Get You In Trouble

"Wow, really!?!?!"

Now, there's two types of laws in this world. Stupid laws, and very stupid laws. This is just an extremely stupid law.

Who would have the brains to cause a nuclear reaction in the first place? Why would they need to make it into a law?

48. Defacing Or Destroying Money Is A Public Offence

Lol. When I was little, I always remembered writing on American dollar bills because I thought it would be funny. Turns out every American kid as an actual kid did that, and it was quite fun to be honest.

So sad for it to be illegal in Britain. :(

49. If A Steam  Locomotive Is Driven On Roads, A Man Must Walk In Front Of The Vehicle With A Red Flag During Day And A Red Lantern At Night To Warn Passers-by.

I don't know how to feel about this law. I think people on their would be fine. They wouldn't wanna reveal they have a freakishly low iq. I know I wouldn't.

50. It Is An Offence To Fall Off The Top Of Blackpool Tower

I'm pretty sure a person with an IQ of 1 would know not to jump off or fall of a building. Unless if you have an IQ of 0.