Dawn of the JetPunk Empires - Part XIII
Last updated: Tuesday September 6th, 2022
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Vladivostok, Vampire Empire
The previously unidentified new reporter that always faithfully reports on the world events lands in Vladivostok. His name is Dollyfroggy, and he has received new that 2 world leaders are meeting for a discussion in the city, and he wants to report on it. He walks around the streets until he finds what he is looking for...
Angbo: Thank you for meeting me here.
cathlete: No trouble at all. But why have you called me here?
Angbo: The Macedonian Empire has declared war on my noble Vampire's. The declaration was totally unprovoked (although we did capture two of their cities that started with v. They were kind of asking for that when they didn't rename them after Alexander). We Vampire's humbly seek your help in this most inconvenient of wars. And I would implore you to join on our side, for your own sake as well as mine. What I mean is, the Macedonian's are distracted by the Grandians and the YPLA. Now is the prime time to annex some more of Siberia. The Imperium's and the Vampire's will not be defeated, and you can grab Siberia from a weak Empire's Empire, and then take some of European Russia from a distracted and weakened Macedonian Empire. We will of course take anything that begins with v. What do you say?
cathlete: That sounds kinda ridiculous, but my county's name has the word Imperium in it. I'll do anything for Siberia anyway. Count me in!
Angbo and cathlete leave Vladivostok and head back to Taipei and Beijing respectively. Dollyfroggy smiles to himself. He listens back to his recording of the conversation. This will make a great story, but even better than that, he could use his knowledge to change world events with what he has just found out.
Sicherer Treffpunkt (in the Swiss Alps), Palapyan Botswanan Empire
Sicherer Treffpunkt (the most secure international meeting room in the world) is located in an isolated pocket of the Swiss Alps. thegoatisgoaty, MicecraftMan, and MckenzieFam enter to discuss things about the war.
tgig: Thank you both so much for coming, and even more for assisting me in this unfortunate conflict we have been involved in. I am very grateful for your help.
MKF: No problemo!
MCM: The pleasure is mine.
tgig: Now to discuss our actions in this war. What do you guys suggest we do?
MKF: The Blaze will help retake Volgograd and Vinnitsia.
MCM: If you help me squash the Yemeni rebellion, I will retake Egypt and help with Syria for you.
tgig: And I will focus on Napoleon and the Grandians in Greece, as well as the protests in Alexanderville.
MCM: What is our plan then?
tgig: Firstly, we will focus on our specific areas: I will push out the Grandians, the Blaze will defeat the Vampires, and you MCM will defeat the YPLA in Egypt. Then once we have done that, I will focus on the Alexanderville protests, and you two can retake Syria together. Does that sound good?
MKF: Yup! Sounds like a plan.
MCM: Ok. But what if the enemy attacks somewhere else?
tgig: That's what I'm afraid of. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
MKF: Also, I have received word that Aficionado, TheNatureThread and the QuizzerBros have all offered to supply us with resources, but not troops at this stage.
MCM: Terrific! I knew my greatest allies would help out.
tgig: That's great! Also, I think it may be wise to send the Blaze's warship fleet to try and blockade Taiwan. Hopefully that will prevent them from doing anything more.
MKF: Of course! I'll have them sent at once.
MCM: I have just received an anonymous message that someone has some serious information to share with us. He says he knows about the Vampire's plans in the war.
tgig: What are their plans?
MCM: I don't know. He wants us to pay him before he tells us.
MKF: Who is he?
MCM: His name is Dollyfroggy, the world renowned news reporter.
MKF: And he wants to share his knowledge with us before he tells the world?
MCM: I guess so. Should we bite?
tgig: Ok. We'll all pitch in and pay equal to $500USD.
MCM & MKF: Ok.
tgig: What are the Vampire' planning then?
MCM (gasps): Apparently Angbo has convinced cathlete to join his side in the war! The IS plans on invading Siberia, and then the rest of Russia!
tgig: Oh no! That's terrible!
MKF: Oh yes! That's terrific!
MCM (looks confused): Terrific? What do you mean MKF?
MKF: If the IS invade Siberia, they will be at war with the Empire's Empire right?
MCM: Right.
MKF: And so we will have another ally, right?
tgig: Right.
MKF: But we all know that the Empire's and GrandOldLand will always have each others' backs because they are the strongest of allies, right? So we will have yet another, even stronger ally, right?
tgig & MCM: Riiiight! Good thinking.
tgig: So when the IS invade Siberia, both the Empire's and GrandOldLand will be on our side. I guess that is pretty good.
MCM: But how do we know the Dollyfroggy is telling the truth?
MKF: We don't. But either way works for us. If the IS do what we've been told they will, then we will be preapared, and if they don't, then at least the war won't get any greater in scope.
tgig: You're right.
The 3 leaders leave the Sicherer Treffpunkt, and return to their homelands.
Seoul, Chilefornia
In the dark of the night, one of the PBC's SkyPods lands silently atop a skyscraper in the middle of Seoul. The door opens, and 10 of the Alpha superspies exit. One pulls out a communication device.
Alpha spy: Quetyz, assimblre Tokyo kortyeq.
Reply: Bytex eq wunsse, hud loc mayt.
Alpha spy (turns to his companions): Nguvu gives us his best. We must search the area for any clues that may help us find Viniga or dovewing's motives. And remember; we were never here.
The 10 members of the Alpha's secretly search around Seoul for clues. Eventually they discover what they believe is the residence of dovewing. They enter the building, and see a bunch of plaques on the walls commemorating the former Korean Empire that the World coalition overthrew. These plaques certify the spies' suspicions.
They search the building but find nothing of interest. Just as they are about to leave, one of the spies finds a small piece of paper that holds a possible lead. Written on the piece of paper is an address: 102 Alexi Street, Alexanderville, Belarus, Macedonian Empire...
Temple of the Orb, Empire of the Minas Gerais
Alexander the Great: We have been given permission by tgig to engage and search for the orb in this temple.
Soldier: Wait, do you need tgig to authorise your plans?
Alexander: What? Of course not! I answer to nobody. I just wanted to be polite.
Soldier: Oh yes, polite. So then I guess you asked for MG17's permission to conduct this operation?
Alexander: Who do you think I am? Of course I didn't! I don't answer to anybody remember? It's not like MG and his puny army of capybaras could do anything about it even if they wanted too. MG is just a spoiled child who is too busy destroying his judges to even have the remotest concern about my secret exploration. He doesn't even know about the joint spy mission that GrandOldLand and the Empire's have been involved in since the start of the Age of JetPunk. He has no idea that they are secretly helping the STF rise over and over again in an effort to destroy the EMG from the inside. He's completely clueless!
Soldier: Right...
Alexander: Anyway, prepare the battering ram!
Alexander's soldiers swing the battering ram back and forth, gaining momentum with each swing.
Alexander: 3... 2... 1...
The soldiers swing with all their might to try and break down the door, but there is no need - the door opens on its own accord. The battering ram doesn't make contact with the door, and the heavy object sends the soldiers flying in the temple, and down a large flight of stairs. Alexander walks down the stairs and meets his injured soldiers at the bottom.
Alexander: What are you lazing around for? Get up! Everyone split up and explore the temple. If you find the orb, report back to me here. Do not touch the orb though, not until I can come up with a plan at least.
The soldiers split up as ordered, and walk through the internal labyrinth of the temple. The maze is so confusing and discombobulating, the soldiers lose all track of time and sense of direction. Even if they found the orb, they wouldn't be able to find their way back to Alexander. Alexander sits down on a chair at the bottom of the staircase and sips at his Amazon forest tea. He spends his time thinking about the world domination he desires so much, and how close he is to achieving it...
London, British Isles Empire
BGG: This whole war thing doesn't sound ideal! Please bolster up our defences, especially the Royal Navy, that's quite important. We want to be ready to act if we need to.
BGG's assistant: Yes sir! Do you want to impose sanctions at all, or supply or aid one of the sides in any way?
BGG: Has any other empires done this?
Assistant: Yes. The Greater Indian Empire, Chilefornia, and the Palapyan Botswanan Empire have supplied the Macedonian's, Blaze's and Veggie's. The Empire's, GrandOldLand, and the PBC again are supplying the Grandian's and the Vampire's, but not the Yemeni's. No one has imposed sanctions.
BGG: No, I don't think I'll impose sanctions because Napoleon was attacked first. However could you send a small amount of supplies to my Pentente allies, otherwise I would breach article 4 in the treaty.
Assistant: Of course sir!
Juneau, Empire's Empire
A man crashes into the empire's chambers: JetPunker180! We have serious news!
JP180: What? Is my bullet train compromised again?
Man: No sir, well kind of, but it's almost as serious as that.
JP180: What is it then?
Man: The Imperium Sanctus has invaded us! They have sent their army into Siberia!
JP180: What progress have they made?
Man: They have taken over the whole of Krasnoyarsk Krai!
JP180: Goodness me! That means they have split my bullet train rail in half!
Man: Yes sir, they have. And they have blown up the tracks, so you can't get to the other side anymore.
JP180: This is an act of war! Get GrandOldLand to join with us, and send our troops to stop them.
Man: Of course, sir. Only one problem, we have nowhere near enough troops to pose a threat to the IS. And we can only transport our troops so far along the trans-Siberian railway because it has been destroyed in Krasnoyarsk.
JP180: GrandOldLand will help us. We cannot be defeated. We must avenge the train!
Nuuk, GrandOldLand
ClutchNferno (in the Grandese language): Please officially declare war on the IS and the Vampire's.
GrandOldAdvisor: Ok, but may I ask why the Vampire's? We were just supplying them in their own war.
Clutch: I have been informed by a new reporter named Dollyfroggy that the Vampire's are the ones who convinced cathlete to invade our greatest ally.
GOA: Really? That's interesting. I will declare war on them immediately.
Clutch: And one last thing.
GOA: Yes?
Clutch: Ramp up the funding of the STF in Brazil. We want to cripple the EMG and then take advantage of them to expand our influence.
GOA: Yes sir, consider it done.
Breaking News, Worldwide
Reporter (Dollyfroggy): It's finally happened! WWIII has officially been declared by the United Nations (I didn't even know they still existed, but anyway). The IS has invaded Siberia and captured Krasnoyarsk Krai, the Blaze's have blockaded Taiwan with the help of GrandOldLand, and the YPLA have begun their invasion of Sudan, and have snaked down the Nile all the way to Khartoum. It's only a matter of time before Sudan capitulates. The Grandian army has taken contorl of all of northern Greece, including Thessaloniki, cutting the peninsula off from the rest of Macedonia. It's also only a matter of time before Athens and all of Greece falls to Napoleon. The Blaze's army has made their way to Volgograd and their paratroopers have landed in Vinnytsia but the Vampire's are putting up a strong resistance and it is currently a stalemate. Here is a brief Summary of the empires and the war as they stand:
- The Great Southern Empire:
Capital: Hobart
Biggest city: Jakarta
Countries: Australia, New Zealand (Wellington, South Island and Pavlova), Indonesia, East Timor, United States (Hawaii), Malaysia, Brunei, Singapore, France (New Caledonia), South Africa, Tanzania, Azerbaijan, Lunar Palace.
Leader: Emperor Geopro
Population: 459 million
- The Blaze Empire:
Capital: Tehran
Biggest city: Tehran
Countries included: Iran, Afghanistan, Tajikistan, Kyrgyzstan, Monaco, Spain, United Kingdom (Gibraltar), Syria, Iraq, New Zealand (Antarctica), Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan, half of the moon, Qatar.
Leader: His (Great) Imperial Awesomeness, Solomon Blaze III
Population: 286 million
Allies: Macedonian Empire, Veggie Caliphate, GrandOldLand, Empire's Empire
At war with: Vampire Empire, Grande Empire, Yemen
- Greater Indian Empire:
Capital: New Delhi
Biggest city: Delhi
Countries: India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Myanmar, Thailand, Cambodia, Laos, Sri Lanka, Maldives, Comoros, Mauritius, France (Mayotte and Reunion), United Kingdom (BIOT), Madagascar, Norway (Antarctica), Mozambique, half of the moon, Bhutan, Kazakhstan, Seychelles, Azerbaijan.
Leader: Emperor Aficionado
Population: 2.007 billion
- Empire of the Minas Gerais:
Capital: Belo Horizonte
Biggest city: Sao Paulo
Countries: Brazil, Botswana (Chobe National Park), France (French Polynesia), Uruguay, Bolivia, Argentina, Free State of Hudson Bay.
Leader: MG17
Population: 297 million
- The Pacific Empire:
Capital: Suva
Biggest city: Tokyo
Countries included: Samoa, Tonga, Fiji, Kiribati, Marshall Islands, Solomon Islands, Federated States of Micronesia, Palau, Philippines, Vanuatu, Japan, Tuvalu, New Zealand (North Island except for Wellington).
Leader: FacterLiger0804
Population: 241 million
- The Nauru Empire:
Capital: Gaziantep
Biggest city: New York
Countries: Nauru, Tuvalu, United States (Except for Hawaii, Alaska, the Carolinas, Wisconsin, California, Virginia and overseas territories), New Zealand (North Island except for Wellington), Turkey (Gaziantep), Djibouti, Kuwait, Russia (Crimea), Serbia.
Leader: Afghabwe
Population: 267 million
- The Imperial Union:
Capital: Reykjavik
Biggest city: Kathmandu
Countries: Iceland, Oman, Papua New Guinea, Trinidad and Tobago, Canada (British Columbia), United States (Puerto Rico), China (Tibet), Nepal, Slovakia, Luxembourg, Andorra.
Leader: ZooTuber3000
Population: 58 million
- The Macedonian Empire:
Capital: Athens
Biggest city: Moscow
Countries: Greece, North Macedonia, Bulgaria, Albania, Georgia, Kosovo, Romania, Moldova, Russia (European part except for Crimea), Montenegro, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Croatia, Slovenia, Turkey, Ukraine, Belarus, Israel (Jerusalem), Egypt, Syria, Serbia, Estonia, Netherlands.
Leader: thegoatisgoaty
Population: 437 million
Allies: Blaze Empire, Veggie Caliphate, GrandOldLand, Empire's Empire
At war with: Grande Empire, Vampire Empire, Yemen
- The Palapyan/Botswanan Empire:
Capital: Palapye/Gaborone
Biggest City: Kinshasa
Countries included: Botswana, Namibia, Zambia, Malawi, Congo, D.R. Congo, Gabon, Zimbabwe, Mozambique, Eswatini, Tanzania, Kenya, Uganda, Rwanda, Barbados, Lesotho, Cameroon, Equatorial Guinea, Central African Republic, South Sudan, Ethiopia, Eritrea, Sudan, Togo, Burkina Faso, Mali, Belgium, Netherlands, Switzerland, Austria, Hungary, Czech Republic, New Zealand (South Island), France (Antarctica), Ghana, United Arab Emirates, Free State of Hudson Bay.
Leader: The QuizzerBros
Population: 590 million
- The Vampire Empire:
Capital: Taipei
Biggest city: Ho Chi Minh City
Countries: Taiwan, United States (overseas territories and Virginia), Vietnam, Vanuatu, Venezuela (except Maracaibo), Vatican City, Spain (Valencia), Lithuania, Malta, Russia (Vladivostok), Canada (Vancouver), Mexico (Veracruz), Burundi.
Leader: Angbo
Population: 183 million
At war with: Macedonian Empire, Blaze Empire, Veggie Caliphate, GrandOldLand, Empire's Empire
- GrandOldLand:
Capital: Nuuk
Biggest city: Luanda
Countries: Canada (Newfoundland, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba), Denmark (Greenland), Angola, Norway, Sweden, Finland, Denmark, Cuba, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Jamaica, Belize, United States (Wisconsin), Suriname, Paraguay, Germany, Poland, Russia (Kaliningrad), Free State of Hudson Bay.
Leader: ClutchNferno
Population: 265 million
Allies: Empire's Empire, Blaze Empire, Macedonian Empire, Veggie Caliphate
At war with: Imperium Sanctus, Vampire Empire
- Chilefornia:
Capital: San Francisco
Biggest city: Mexico City
Countries: United States (California except for Santa Barbara), Mexico (except for Veracruz), Guatemala, Honduras, El Salvador, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Panama, Colombia, Ecuador (Except Galapagos Islands), Peru, Chile (besides Southern part), Venezuela (Maracaibo), Sao Tome and Principe, North Korea, South Korea, Nigeria (south east coast)
Leader: TheNatureThread
Population: 446 million
National food: Dhokla, Dabeli, Burritos and Tacos
- Republic of Carolina:
Capital: Hamilton
Biggest city: Hamilton
Countries: United States (Carolinas), United Kingdom (Bermuda)
Leader: JackQuizzer
Population: 63 thousand
- The Empire's Empire:
Capital: Juneau
Biggest city: Mogadishu
Countries: United States (Alaska), Russia (Siberia), Somalia, Free State of Hudson Bay.
Leader: Jetpunker180
Population: 64 million
Allies: GrandOldLand, Blaze Empire, Macedonian Empire, Veggie Caliphate
At war with: Imperium Sanctus, Vampire Empire
- British Isles Empire:
Capital: London
Biggest city: London
Countries: United Kingdom, Ireland, Iceland, Russia (Severny Island), Canada (Baffin Island).
Leader: BigGeographyGuy
Population: 72 million
Vassals: Duchy of Wyvernia (Leader: NiobiumVoid)
- Med-Atlantic Empire:
Capital: Tangier
Biggest city: Milan
Countries: Algeria, Morocco, Mauritania, Senegal, Gambia, Guinea, Guinea Bissau, Sierra Leone, Liberia, Cape Verde, Algeria, Tunisia, Libya, Cyprus, France, Portugal, Guyana, Grenada, Ivory Coast, Benin, Italy (except for Elba), Spain (Balearic Islands), United States (Carolinas), Free State of Hudson Bay.
Leader: turnbacktwo
Population: 412 million
- Imperium Sanctus:
Capital: Beijing
Biggest city: Guangzhou
Countries: China (minus southern Tibet), Mongolia, Russia (around Lake Baikal)
Leader: cathlete
Population: 1.402 billion
Allies: Vampire Empire
At war with: Empire's Empire, GrandOldLand
- Veggie Caliphate:
Capital: Abuja
Biggest city: Lagos
Countries: Nigeria (except south east coast), Armenia, Niger, Greece (Crete), Iraq, Syria, Chad, Eritrea, Central African Republic, South Sudan, Sudan, Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Lebanon, Jordan, Israel (besides Jerusalem), Equatorial Guinea, Ecuador (Galapagos Archipelago), United States (Santa Barbara), Bahrain.
Leader: MiecraftMan
Population: 359 million
Allies: Macedonian Empire, Blaze Empire, GrandOldLand, Empire's Empire
At war with: Yemen, Grande Empire, Vampire Empire
Semi-autonomous region: Yemeni People's Republic
Vassals: Apostolic Armenian Empire (Leader: YakosaysBOT5WANA)
Viniga Sultanate:
Capital: Jerusalem
Biggest City: Cairo
Countries: Israel, Egypt, Jordan, Lebanon, Saudi Arabia, Yemen
Leader: Sultan Viniga
Population: 0 million
National Food: Salt and Vinegar Chips
Second German Empire:
Capital: Berlin
Biggest City: The Ruhr, Cologne/Dusseldorf or Berlin
Countries: Germany, Russia (Kaliningrad), Poland, Latvia
Leader: Felix1958
Population: 124 million
Middle Earth Empire:
Capital: Unknown
Biggest City: Unknown
Countries: Unknown
Leader: ducklingpanda1245
Population: Unknown
At war with: Unknown
Korean Empire:
Capital: Seoul
Biggest City: Seoul
Countries: North Korea, South Korea, Estonia, Latvia, Ghana, Austria, Poland, Bahamas, Antigua and Barbuda, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Saint Lucia, Saint Kitts and Nevis, Grenada, Dominica, Barbados, Italy (except for Elba).
Leader: Tigerheart1919
Population: 0 million
Apostolic Armenian Empire:
Capital: Yerevan
Biggest City: Tashkent
Countries: Armenia, Azerbaijan, Kazakhstan, Ecuador, Iraq, Syria, Serbia, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Equatorial Guinea, Namibia, Bhutan, Bolivia.
Leader: YakosaysBOT5WANA
Population: 0 million
National Food: Raspberry tarts with rose oil
Grande Empire:
Capital: Half Tree Hollow
Biggest city: Portoferraio
Countries: United Kingdom (Saint Helena), Italy (Elba), Free State of Hudson Bay.
Leader: Napoleon Bonaparte
Population: 25 million
Allies: Yemen, Vampire Empire
At war with: Macedonian Empire, Blaze Empire, Veggie Caliphate
Sawiwi:
Capital: Tímår¬
Biggest city: Tímår¬
Countries: Make believe islands in the Pacific
Leader: Almighty Dhruv
Population: 11 million
UnimportantGreat and his destruction of relations. Good thing GrandOldLand is on our sideAssistant : Most nuclear tests in history were carried out on small Pacific islands.
Solomon : I know! How about Sawiwi?
Assistant : I don't think the Sawiwians would like you coming and blowing their island to atoms.
Solomon : You're probably right.
Assistant : Also, you should probably make sure those islands actually exist before you go shooting nuclear warheads at a patch of empty ocean.
Solomon : Ready a jet. And get me a meeting with Emporer Ethaboo444.
Just a suggestion; You could have a list at the end of who is a war with who, to keep track of WWIII. You could also have who is supplying the empires if you want.
During the American Civil War, a plucky group of young men and women crossed the seas in order to escape the brutal war back home. They settle in Svalbard, and remain isolated but faithful to the Union. They speak English, adopt a flag similar to that of their home country's, and even make the national anthem "the Battle Hymn of the Republic." They also remain devoted to the faith; a deeply Christian nation.
After keeping to themselves for decades, they have finally emerged in order to salvage themselves a piece of this fiery new world, and perhaps even spread their culture and beliefs. Only time will tell.
Though it would be quite hard to go to war with any other empires. You may just have to take advantage of weakened empires after the war
Blaze Empire: Has declared war against Yemen and the Grande Empire
GIE: Has not declared war but is supplying troops to the VC and the Macedons
EMG: has officially signed a death warrant for Alexander, but is not at war against Grande or the Macedons
Pacific: Has not declared war yet, but will likely be forced to help their ally the IS
Nauru: Has not declared war yet, but will likely be forced to help their ally the IS
IU: Has not declared war yet but may be forced to help Macedon, their ally in the Pentente
Macedonian: has declared war against the IS, Yemen, and the Grande
PBE: Is currently remaining neutral
Vampire: Has not declared war yet, but is pulling the strings in the IS against the Macedons.
GrandOldLand: has declared war against the IS and the Vampires. Has not voiced their opinion over the Grande-Macedon conflict. Is also funding the downfall of the EMG.
Also, I will still not be entering the war, please.
Carolina: Is remaining neutral
Empire’s Empire: Has declared war against the IS and the Vampires
British Isles: Has not declared war yet, but might be forced to help the Macedons and Blazes, their allies in the Pentente
MAE: Is remaining neutral
Imperium Sanctus: Has declared war against the Empire’s Empire and GOL
Veggie Caliphate: Has declared war against Yemen and the Grande Empire
Middle Earth Empire: Has not been heard from in a while
Grande Empire: Has declared war against the Macedons, the Blazes, and the VC
Sawiwi: is remaining neutral
And if ducklingpanda could send a dragon or two up from middle earth to help us that'd be great
MG probably is in the closest situation to me. I think he should also declare war on them. They aren't formally allies with Macedon, Veggie, or Blaze yet so we can destroy them first.
Also, after this war, or during it idk, I'm thinking of rebranding Chilefornia. Chilefornia probably has one of the less interesting backstories, so I want to make it an empire of languages, working on projects related to communication and languages to eventually have peace, celebrating languages, and also conquering places with cool languages lol
I guess it already has the theme of water, since it is a coastal empire, but idk if i can get all the coast lol
The rebranding is all hypothetical anyway.