Once I was at a friend's house, and we had a costume contest where we voted (first past the post) for the best costume. Unfortunately for them, I ran the election. I skewed everything in my favor. Now I'm going to teach you how to do exactly the same.

1. Announce it

Don't let your fake election look fake! Make people think if they run, they have a good chance of winning. Encourage people to vote. Make it seem democratic. This is key when it comes to fake elections.

2. Set some Traps

If this election stealing is going to work, you need some traps. Try voter purging, hardness to access the voting station, messing with names on the ballot. Or, try what they do in Mother Russia. Find two random Joes with the same name as your opponent. Put them on the ballot. Congratulations! You have confused the voters! However, don't pull tricks on your supporters-only the people who don't support you.

3. Let the People Cast a Ballot

If your traps have worked, voter turnout should be low. Most of the people who show up should be supporters of you. Be "kind" and let the non-supporters of you (if any) go first. Once they clear out, let your supporters vote again and again. Of course, though, you need solid, non-clear boxes for this trick to work.

4. Declare a Winner

If you have done all that, most of the votes in the boxes should be for you. If even that has failed, then just declare yourself the winner. If anyone challenges you, make sure you have a good supply and bribes and threats.

5. Hold a Good and Tight Grip

Never let go of your elected position. Repeat and repeat and repeat until you die.