Bo Burnham song Lyrics

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There's a fat guy in a pastry shop, with a $20 bill and he's ready to buy, in order ot predict his volume change, you'll need to know the value of pi(e)

Single every single day, single every single way, make the single ladies say

I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit, wouldn't have got the cheese if I knoew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got ... Half of it

America says we love a chorus, but don't get complicated and bore us, though meaning might be missing, we need to know the words after just one listen so

Stick your tongue in a plug, such a pipe of exhaust, make some toast in the tub, nail yourself to a cross, hold your breath 'till it's gone, drink a gallon of mace, be gay in Iran, let Oprah sit on your face.

(Slams Piano) AHHH AHHHHGHGHGHHGHGH

Bo oh my God, (Fag fag) Bo oh my God. (Fag fag.)

A water park has burnt to the ground, and a tow truck has broken down, I always used to cry when I laughed and then I was raped by a clown

I watched an old man get hit by a train, he didn't see it in the pouring rain, he didn't hear me shout look out for the train... 'Cause I didn't say anything.

Have you stopped to watch a bluebird drop from a tree, and take to the air, me neither. Have you ever took the time out to finish a rhyme but the right words just weren't there, meat cleaver

Have you ever been to birthday party for children and one of the children won't stop screaming, cause he's just a little attention attracter, when he grows up to be a comic or actor, he'll be rewarded for never maturing, for never understanding or learning.

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He's growing up, like little boys do, he's grown a moustache and he's only 2

You want a guy that's sweet, a guy that's tough, a feminist who likes to pay for stuff. The kinda guy that gets along with your friends, without being attracted to any of them. A good boy, a bad boy, a good bad boy, a half good, half bad, half boy

I HATE LIFE AND LIFE HATES ME BAAAACK, and my friend is black, but I don't know what to call him, so I just call him 'what up Jamal'..... even though his name is Steve

Most of the best YouTubers are either Asian or they're gay. So if there's an untapped YouTube celebrity and his name is George Takei

Here comes a female, here comes a female. Puff your chest out get your phone and check your email. Our evolutionary purposes repopulate, so gather data now and see if she's a possible mate.

I said, men are like muzzles, because they'll try to shut you up. No, no, no don't listen, hey Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920, neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't

All the seats at the Sunday masses, filled with the masses' massive asses, classes pass as fast as molasses, ceremonial reading glasses. Read a little bit of Leviticus, all the kids are a little too little for this. All the parents nod in agreement, "I think I can vaguely see what He meant."

A dirt road. A cold beer. A blue jeans. A red pickup. A rural noun, simple adjective. No shoes. No shirt. No Jews, you didn't hear that. Sort of a mental typo

Now I don't know if all boy scouts are gays, but they could probably "tie the knot" in like fifty different ways I got a safe full o' cherries, cause I pop it and lock it. A girl's like a fridge, once a week you shou.ld stock it

(Bonus) Hitler was there and so were all the Jews, Yeah! , so it got a little awkard