Funny Newspaper Headlines #3

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Intro

Despite all the stuff about Russia and Ukraine, there’s still some funny stuff in the newspapers!  Keep reading to find out!

Minecraft Steve Competes in Weightlifting!

Steve, the main character of the popular video game Minecraft, has decided to try his hand in weightlifting!  Steve, famous for his ability for lifting stacks of diamonds and gold merely in his pockets, will most likely prevail.  We’ll see….

I love Minecraft!  And it’s undoubtable that Steve is some sort of god, I mean, who can put BEDS in their pockets?  Or chests?  Or 64 chests?  Or millions of chests?  I’m really curious to see what the max limit for what Steve can carry is.

He carried to much and his arms felll off

2 Year Old Elected President of the US!

A group of 2 year olds have been elected as Senators, President, Vice President, and other important government jobs!  Will they do well at their jobs?

Tbh not that surprising seeing that most 2 year olds know all the countries, capitals, flags, etc..  I think that they’ll do well at their knew jobs!

The President of the USA

Vladimir Putin Carried Away by Common Nightingales!

Common Nightingales, the national bird of Ukraine, have been sighting picking up Vladimir Putin, the president of Russia, and carrying him into the sunset!  What a sight indeed….

Well, that’s one way to stop a war!  I guess the morale of the story is don’t mess with Ukraine or birds will pick you up and carry you away.  I guess Russia will be having a new president, hopefully this one will be better than the last.

The Common Nightingale

Outro

This blog is a work of fiction.  Events and stuff that happened aren’t real.

Thanks for Reading!

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Level 60
Jan 24, 2022
Like this comment if you want a sequel!
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Level 65
Jan 24, 2022
lololol
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Level 65
Jan 24, 2022
Amazing. Truly amazing. My amazement cannot be said, because this is the funniest blog of my life!

probably...

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Level 60
Jan 24, 2022
Thank you!
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Level 57
Jan 24, 2022
Definitely want a sequel! are you sure you want to get rid of the funniest award?
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Level 73
Jan 24, 2022
Two year olds running the most powerful country and birds carrying away the president of another powerful country? The world surely is a funny place. Everything is completely unexpected.

SEQUEL! SEQUEL! SEQUEL!

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Level 60
Jan 24, 2022
indeed it is a very strange world. We never know what’s going to happen, for example, you guys didn’t know that I’m going to discontinue this series.

Just Kidding! A sequel is definitely coming

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Level 48
Jan 24, 2022
These are hilarious. There are always days that I need a good laugh, and today was definitely one of them. I would love to see more of these!
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Level 60
Jan 24, 2022
Thanks! I’ll make more I guess if you guys want them
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Level 75
Jan 25, 2022
Breaking News: A recent scientific study reveals that infants may in fact be younger than adolescents and adults. Specialists warn that this may change society at its core and potentially bring unwanted consequences.
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Level 60
Jan 25, 2022
Lol
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Level 65
Jan 25, 2022
Don't let this concern distract you from the fact that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes, together we can stop this.
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Level 60
Jan 25, 2022
That’s horrible news! How can we stop it!?
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Level 65
Jan 25, 2022
A first step would be to make sure that our floors are not made out of floor.
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Level 60
Jan 25, 2022
We make them out of hot spicy cheetos.
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Level 59
Jan 25, 2022
lol when the pinned comment gets more likes than the actual blog:
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Level 63
Jan 25, 2022
Lol this is very funny :D
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Level 60
Jan 25, 2022
Thank you!
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Level 78
Jan 25, 2022
I would pay good money to see a group of any birds carry off any world leader. For example I would pay to see sparrows carrying off the president of Tuvalu.

And also let's get all the 2 year olds important government jobs, they couldn't do much worse!

Edited to add....I wouldn't give thanks for Reading, it's an awful city.

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Level 60
Jan 25, 2022
? I’m not that good with endings lol
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Level 65
Jan 25, 2022
I love this joke lol

poor bgg

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Level 60
Jan 25, 2022
Oh hahaha now I get it.
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Level 73
Jan 26, 2022
I didn't get it. What was that Reading thing in the end?
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Level 60
Jan 26, 2022
Like Reading the city
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Level 44
Jan 28, 2022
So a 2 year old was able to campaign to become POTUS?

Impressive.

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Level 64
Jan 31, 2022
2 year olds are probably better than what politics are now...