Badly Described States

A state destroyed every year or two by a bunch of water and air. It’s also full of fake royals who pretend to be nice to children.

The state home to plants that hate hugs and children. It also has a giant gash in its side that people like to stare at for some reason.

Large swath of miserable nothing. Unless you like frostbite, mosquitoes, and seeing foreign countries from your house.

A state so sad and alone that their proudest moment was getting demolished in some old building by one of the countries that decided to bully them. They keep screaming about the incident as if they’re in some therapy session.

The state like your muscular friend that everyone makes fun of for all the times they’ve done something stupid. They’re good at football though… at least in their awkward college years.

The state where small towns covered in white stuff are more well known than big cities. The state is also fond of euphemisms in their cuisine choices.

They really like the letter ‘c’ here. Also, no one can figure out if their university is actually prestigious or just trying to be pretentious.

The place where stuff gets burned to the ground. Often figuratively, but increasingly stuff is actually being burned to the ground.

A state definitely not colonized by a bunch of luxury hotel resorts that just announce ‘beach!’ on their website.

This state has green chiles, a bunch of cool clay stuff, and there’s this random dude from the early 1900s that apparently really likes their capital. He keeps screaming it at the top of his lungs and then bursting into tears.

Mostly rural land with some mountains possibly named after chairs. There is just one tiny parcel of land with a ton of people who all hate each other.

If France was incredibly hot, humid, and invaded by the English.

This state weirdly is proud of all these holes of water… and for their cities being part of a family tree.

There’s lots of red stuff, bees, and churches here. Apparently water with some sodium chloride is a big deal here… it keeps disappearing.

Wannabe Canada. Their people have a strange obsession with mittens, old dudes, and apparently healthcare when it comes to elections.

A state that is like a arguing couple that can’t even be on the same floor in their house. One always has to stay upstairs and the other stays downstairs complaining to all their friends.

The state that is like those dull and boring assignments that the teachers just has to give to their least favorite students, but won’t make anyone else do them. Let’s say those poor students cried a whole lot.

The state that asks itself why anyone wants to live there, unless they really like staring at yellow stuff all day. Even the identity of their favorite sports team has to do with the yellow stuff.

A whole lot of nothing except for a ticking time bomb in the northwest that people like to go visit because the pending doom of humanity is pretty to look at.

The obnoxious state that has to put ‘state’ after its name as if it’s trying to sound extra special. They’ve also got a whole lot of falling water, so much so that it’s become their identity.