Happy April 2nd!

It has finally come. We've waited for years for April the 2nd to finally happen. And this year, it's here. The significance of this day cannot be understated because it has not happened a single time since 2006. If you've spent any time watching the news lately, you're probably aware of just how big of a deal this is, but if you somehow aren't aware, let's dive into three reasons this is such a momentous day.

1. April the second remains the singular day on the Gregorian calendar to have its existence determined by Punxsutawney Phil. Not many people know this, but each year on the second day of April, which is not the same as April 2nd, good ol' Phil comes out of his hole and reports whether or not he has a toothache. If he does, April 2nd happens the next year. If he doesn't, we skip right from April 1st to the 3rd. Simple, right? Oddly enough, until last year, he hadn't suffered from a toothache on the second day of April since April 3rd, 2005.

2. You were born on April 2nd! Whether your parents ever got around to mentioning or not, YOU were born on one of these historic days. Crazy but true. To those who have been lied to for so many years, I have a few things to say. (1) You are not alone. Find a friend who is willing to empathize with you amidst this betrayal. (2) On a more practical note, people born on April 2nd get half off on Burger King after 6:00 on weeknights, so.......

3. The sun rises in the west and sets in the east. Meteorologists are still unsure why or how this happens. However, they almost universally agree that a spike in sharknadoes is expected in the months to come. Be alert. Come up with a plan for shelter in case of emergency as we are all preparing for this unconventional cataclysm.

In conclusion......

April 2nd is chock full of plentuous oddities. Please spread the news in order to educate our public on this crucial subject matter.

Yours truly,

Yours truly.