RUB Times | Lawns are Going Empty all Around the World
First published: Wednesday March 16th, 2022
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Intro
Sorry guys, I procrastinated on this a lot. I had a school event where I had to read a lot, so that was taking up most of my time for the past few weeks. I also had a cold this weekend. Thus, I was not able to get the Sudoku done for today. Sorry. Information in this blog is relevant to the weeks I missed.
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Welcome to RUB Times (Funny Newspaper Headlines), a series that takes the form of a newspaper and contains Headlines, a Crossword, a Sudoku, JetPunk News, and an Acronym of the Week (as we all know how much the community likes to make acronyms out of letters).
Lawns go Empty in Various Areas of the World!
Many people in all 196 countries have been reporting that their lawns are being chewed up and uprooted. A person from Bielefeld, Germany, had caught footage of a person coming up to their house and eating their grass. Scientists believe that people with boanthropy, a psychological disorder in which people believe they are a cow, are the ones uprooting the gardens and lawns. More and more people are setting up security cameras.
Bielefeld Alert! This whole scenario obviously isn’t real since that city is a definite hoax. Geez, I thought these people who report these stories would know better than to believe this preposterous idea. Interesting how someone could believe they are a cow though, I don’t think that would be too fun of a life to live. Of coarse, that’s assuming boanthropy is real! It may just be another conspiracy theory made by potatoheads.
Man Knocked Unconscious After Getting in a Fight with a Milk Carton Because it “Looked at me Funny”
A man reportedly was knocked unconscious after getting in a fight with a milk jug. Later questioning with the man reveals that the milk jug looked at him funny. Don’t trust milk jugs, people.
Scientists Report Strange Activity on Easter Island
Chilean scientists report that strange things have been happening on Easter Island. One scientist reported seeing a ragtag group of pirates on the western side of the island, and another scientist reports seeing a moving moai head.
Apparently the Somalian Pirates that we’ve been following in a couple RUB Times episodes have landed on Easter Island in Chile and are establishing a camp there. I’m a little nervous about the moving moai heads though..
Militaries Start Using Genetically Mutated Giraffes as Spies
Many powerful militaries are starting to use giraffes as spies, ladders, or other things. Training exercises include hopping on a giraffes back to scale walls, or using a giraffe to peek through windows to gather intelligence.
Ants Rage Vicious Wars Underground!
Ant colonies are battling each other beneath the grounds. Houses, buildings, and cars are being knocked over and upturned! We hope these battles stop soon as millions of dollars of damage has already occurred.
Crossword Puzzle
This week’s crossword puzzle. If any numbers are hard to read, ask in the comments.
| Vertical
1. Quizzing sight we use
2. To slaughter
3. First letter of the Greek writing system
4. Missing
5. Causing death
— Horizontal
1. Survey
2. U.S. State
3. On of the seven deadly sins
4. Vomit
5. Opposite of more
Meme Section
Contains two memes I made.
Any meme ideas? Post them in the comments and they might get used!
JetPunk News
JetPunk News will contain:
Featured Quizzes
Updated Featured Quizzes
Changes to the Top 100 Quizmaker Leaderboard
Blogs with 10 Likes
JetPunk Updates
Note: There’s no way to tell if a quiz was updated or featured unless it was from nominations, so I might have a couple in the wrong category.
Updated Featured Quizzes:
General Knowledge Quiz #6
U.S. General Knowledge Quiz #8
U.S. General Knowledge Quiz #9
U.S. General Knowledge Quiz #11
U.S. General Knowledge Quiz #12
Best Selling Autos in the U.S.
General Knowledge Quiz #8
General Knowledge Quiz #9
United States Immigration by Country
Countries by Lamborghini Dealerships
Rich Countries Bordering Poor Countries
NFL Coaches Quiz
Megacities on a World Map
Countries with Megacities
Ten Southernmost Megacities
50 States, 50 Cities - Easy Version
50 States, 50 Cities Quiz - Hard Version
Batman Actors Quiz
Biggest Trading Partners - European Union
Australian Immigration by Country
Huge List of Famous Mountains
Compound Words Quiz #1
Featured Quizzes:
Groups of Countries that Start with the Same 3 Letters
Category Elimination - Words #1
Category Elimination - Words #2
Signs of the Zodiac Picture Quiz
100 Biggest Cities in Germany Quiz
Terrible City Spellings Accepted by JetPunk
Name a Five Letter Word A-Z
Most Sanctioned Countries
World Map with Countries Replaced by States
Name a Four Letter Word A-Z
Changes to the Top 100 Quizmaker Leaderboard:
Geoguy passed ThirdParty
HinesBrothers passed PunkEspanol
katsudk and overtired passed MattPunk
overtired passed katsudk
Pandora49 passed markjohan and BolyaiAnna
youtubeplayer passed Daigoro, Freely, and Kestrana
PunkPortugues and baptistegorce passed manchesterutd10
zwizdan007 and Fouquets passed Penguinish
BasketballPunk passed JustJoshing
Dekkie passed girplease
Elboy passed Anonim7227, OskarRB, formerfrontpage, and helen62442
OskarRB passed formerfrontpage
Anonim7227 passed OskarRB and formerfrontpage
Levisek27 passed Lucknowite and LovesPoetry
Nathanial passed Zefyrinus
Johnsonncn5 passed Geographystar and CtG526
Geographystar passed CtG526
elijahwade passed Nilles, Youri704, Nygaut, Hugh2000, and WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot
Nilles passed Youri704, Nygaut, Hugh2000, and WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot
Hugh2000 and Nygaut passed WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot
Mewthree passed totolulu, Cyn, MitchellDavid and Devvik2
Apocalypse passed georgekotz, angel0703, GymnastPunk, RBM5, totolulu, Cyn, MitchellDavid, and Devvik2
MitchellDavid passed Devvik2
totolulu passed Cyn
angel0703 passed GymnastPunk
Blogs with 10 Likes:
It is 100 seconds till midnight right now.
A Word Search with Every Country
Word Search Round-Up - February 2022
e - The Most Important Number
City Population 2022 Agglomeration Update
Every Major Colony of the British Empire Explained (P3)
Five Islands of Ukraine
My Geography and JetPunk Story - 6 Years Commemoration
Interview of a JetPunker #20 - baptistegorce
Quiz Creation Challenge: 618 Day Anniversary!
Weird and Unknown Flags from Around the World #5
JetPunk Updates:
JetPunk Word Search gets a huge update! Read about it in the Word Search Round-Up blog.
User stats page will now show your progress through a level.
You can filter by quiz type on other languages.
Sudoku
A sudoku will be available every week! (Hopefully) they will get harder every week.
Acronym of the Week: RVU
Make what you want out of this acronym and post it in the comments! New Feature: Best acronym gets a mention in a sticky comment!
Outro
I hope you enjoyed this edition of RUB Times! A new episode will come out every Wednesday at 9:45 AM PST. (This is Funny Newspaper Headlines, but with a different title, a crossword, JetPunk News, a sudoku, and a meme section). Any suggestions? Post them in the comments!
MiecraftMan
Bye!
