The Space Chronicles - Episode II

Makemake, Haumea, Eris, Pluto, and Ceres are going around the solar system asking for planetpendence

Pluto: Neptune, will you sign here so we dwarf planets can become equal to you?

Pluto holds out a paper

Neptune: Why should I want you brats to become a planet?  All you ever do is complain.

Pluto: We’ll um… give you a life’s supply of…

Ceres: Rocks!

Neptune: *raises eyebrow*

Pluto: Yes!  Rocks.  What else would a gas giant want but rocks?

Neptune: Hmmmm….

Pluto: Yes?

Neptune: Okay, fine.  But I want the rocks by next week.

Neptune signs the paper.

Pluto: Next up, Uranus!

————————————————————————————————————————————

Uranus: So, a few new planets, huh?  Well, it wouldn’t harm me….

Pluto: Deal?

Uranus: Well, perhaps if you could bring me one of the majestic rings of J1407b….

Ceres: What’s that?

Ceres: Phew, for a second there I thought we would have to ask a planet halfway across the Milky Way…, lucky we only have to ask Saturn.

Uranus: J1407b is in Centaurus, and it isn’t Saturn.

Ceres: Centaurus is close right?

Uranus: It’s only 4.37 lightyears away, so yes.

Ceres: *faints*

_{Dysnomia: PLEASE?}

_{J1407b: WHAT FOR?}

_{Eris: URANUS WANTS THEM.}

J1407b chucks one of their rings across the galaxy like a frisbee and Eris catches it.  Eris then throws it to Pluto, and Pluto gives it to Uranus.

Uranus signs Pluto’s paper.

————————————————————————————————————————————

Saturn: So, you little dwarfs want independence, do you?

Pluto: Yup!

Saturn: Is it just you five, or all of your moons?

_{Dysnomia: Hey Eris, can I be a planet?}

_{Eris: No, you’re a moon.}

_{Dysnomia: Awwwww.}

Pluto, Haumea, and Makemake turn around for a second to tell their moons they can’t become a planet.

Ceres: Hey….

Pluto: Okay, so Saturn, would you be willing to sign this paper?

Pluto holds out his paper, which has Uranus and Neptune’s signatures.

Saturn: Possibly, let me think.

Halley’s Comet is making their 74 year journey and is nearing Earth

Earth: *groans*

Halley’s Comet: What’s wrong with him?  He was fine 74 years ago….

Moon: Climate change, war, disease, poverty, disappointing Book of Boba Fett episodes, zookeepers being attacked by monkeys, stuff like that.  At least until the humans left and went to Mars.

Halley’s Comet: Alright, well, I have some mail from Neptune, said it was urgent.

Passes note to Earth

Earth: *groans and opens note*

_{Dear, Earth}

                     _{I wish you a merry Christmas 2022!  By the time this reaches you, it shall be 2096 in your years; however, no amount of time will spoil my love for you, your personality, and your love for all life.  I hope you and your charming moon will keep in touch, XOXOXOX}

                                                                                                                  — Neptune

Earth: *tears up*

In a galaxy far, far away, GN-z11 and it’s inhabitants are having a tea party

Random Star 1: Hello everybody!  So, what should we talk about today!

Random Planet 1: Oh shut up, why so happy?

Random Star 1: Why should we be sad?

Random Planet 1: The universe is stretching as we speak!  We’ll all be pulled into nothing like taffee!

Random Asteroid 1: I like taffee lol.

Random Planet 1: Why are you lolling!  This is nothing to lol about, we’re all gonna die!

Random Comet 1: *screams loudly*

Random Star 1: Oh, shut up.  That’s gonna happen in thousands and thousands of years, we’ll all certainly die before that.

Random Supernova 1: Yep, and you’ll turn into me!

Random Star 2: I’d rather be eaten by a black hole then turn into something like you.

Random Supernova 1: I’m hurt.

Sagittarius A* is eating some asteroids that ventured to close

S4714: Umm, your excellence, don’t you think you’ve eaten enough today?

Sagittarius A*: No.

S4714: *gulps*

Sagittarius A* eats up another asteroid.

Sagittarius A*: Next up, Orion, Scorpius, and Sagittarius!  I’m hungry for a constellation…

S4714: Oh no….