Philosophies Explained with High Fives

Monotheism- God gave me a high-five.

Polytheism- Many gods gave me a high-five.

Pantheism- The universe gave me a high-five.

Agnosticism- Something somewhere gave me a high-five, but who or what, I cannot say.

Atheism- I gave myself a high-five.

Autotheism- I gave myself a high-five. Also, I'm a god.

Secular Humanism- There are no gods, but we can give each other high-fives.

Deism- There was a god once, but they are no longer handing out high-fives.

Democracy- Whoever wins the most votes gets a high-five.

Dictatorship- Everyone must give me a high-five, AND NO ONE ELSE.

Theocracy- God told me who and what to high-five, and He told me that I must receive high-fives from you.

Monarchy- Me and my family have the divine right to get high-fives from everyone.

Imperialism- We must conquer everyone and force them to give us high-fives

Communism (ideals)- The people shall all share high-fives.

Communism (reality)- The government owns all high-fives, and the people only get ones that are down low and too slow.

Capitalism- Let me sell you a high-five for profit.

Stoicism- The best high-fives are the ones given out for only extremely logical reasons.

Nihilism- Nothing, not even high-fives, has any meaning whatsoever.

Absolutism- Actions are intrinsically right or wrong. Stealing is always wrong, even if you're feeding a starving kitten, and giving high-fives is always right, even if you keep slapping the other person in the face accidentally

Utilitarianism- Anything that brings the greatest amount of high-fives to the most people is justified

Epicureanism- Pleasure is awesome, but I'm only going to high a sensible number of fives so I don't end up with a hurt hand.

If you guys have any more ideas for philosophies that I should high-five-ify, let me know in the comments! Thanks for reading!