If Countries Were High Schoolers | Chapter 3

Broken English and improper grammar is part of the story and varies between characters. If you're offended by stereotypes, don't read. All characters are based on characteristics of the governments of the country or stereotypes of the citizens.

The US state Georgia is male, the country Georgia is female. Georgia_US is the US state, Georgia_C is the country.

Students in Mr. Nato's homeroom class:

(♀ - female, ♂ - male)

Alabama ♂

Argentina ♂

Arizona ♂

Armenia ♂

Bolivia ♀

Bhutan♀

California ♀

Canada ♀

Chile ♀

Colin ♂

England♀

France ♂

Georgia ♂

Greece ♂

Hawaii ♀

India ♂

Indiana ♂

Iran ♂

Kentucky ♂

Liberia ♂

Maldives ♀

Maryland ♀

Mauritania ♀

McKenzieFam (Blaze) ♂

MiecraftMan ♂

Mississippi ♂

Nauru ♂

Nepal ♂

New Jersey ♂

Norway ♂

Paraguay ♂

Pennsylvania ♂

Portugal ♂

Quebec♀

Qy ♂

South Africa ♂

Scotland ♂

Singapore ♂

Spain ♂

Sweden ♂

Switzerland ♂

Texas ♂

United States ♂

Utah♀

Vermont ♂

Wales ♂

West Virginia ♂

"Yo, what's up, man?" Georgia exchanged nods of greeting with Texas, Qy, and Kentucky.

"Howdy!" Texas tipped his hat at Georgia.

"You finished that homework, man?" Georgia asked.

"Oh no..." Kentucky rummaged through his bag.

"I'm fixin' to git 'er done right now." Texas fidgeted in his pocket to find a pencil. "I reckon I c'n finish before next per'd."

"Teach ain't gon' let you turn nun' in late this time." Georgia pointed out.

"Your grammar is appalling." MiecraftMan piped up.

"Wow, didn't realize anyone asked what you thought." Qy suddenly said, glaring at MiecraftMan.

"Right. No offense, but yer' gonna need to mind yer' business." Texas shook his head.

MiecraftMan rolled his eyes and turned to face the front of the class.

"As I been sayin', Texas, you ain't gon' get away wi' no late assignments this time 'round." Georgia repeated.

"I know! Damn! If you'd stop distractin' me, I might could finish this here assignment." Texas snapped.

"Okay. Geez." Georgia put his hands up in resignation and started a conversation with Qy.

Meanwhile, South Africa and Indiana were arguing over some rugby tournament. California looked at them with disdain and chewed her gum obnoxiously as she ferociously tapped the newest iPhone.

MiecraftMan attempted to block out the incessant and discourteous chewing with his wireless earphones, which he shoved in his ears as far as they would go. Unfortunately, she was chewing so loud that the sound penetrated even his tightly secured earbuds. He sneered at California's insolence.

He decided to politely tap Singapore on the shoulder. "Hi!"

"What, lah?" Singapore asked rudely.

"Can you please implore your friend California to perhaps be a bit quieter with her chewing?" MiecraftMan asked politely.

"Ew. Stop talking to me. Bombastic side eye, lah." Singapore sneered.

"Nobody says that anymore." California said matter-of-factly and scoffed.

"Whatever. You're so cringe, lah." Singapore flipped his hair and laughed arrogantly.

"Perhaps I need to be more clear in this here MiecraftMan's stead... can you please shut the hell up so we can do what we need to do without your obnoxious chewing?" New Jersey demanded suddenly.

MiecraftMan looked scared. He had been teased many times by the bulky bully.

"Tch. Whatever." California turned around and began scrolling through TikTok.

"Thank you..." MiecraftMan thanked New Jersey meekly.

New Jersey snatched MiecraftMan's pencil and broke it. "Don't talk to me. We're not friends. I just don't like California."

MiecraftMan looked like he wanted to cry. He sat up straight in his seat and put his earbuds back in to listen to his favorite band, System of a Down.

Suddenly, Bolivia came in with Paraguay.

MiecraftMan looked disdainfully at Paraguay, who looked completely detached from reality. "Who invited Syndrome of a Down?" He asked malevolently. Everyone started laughing, especially Alabama.

"Good one, nerd." New Jersey slapped his knee as he took MiecraftMan's homework and crumpled it into a ball, and then ate it.

"Good thing I have another copy..." MiecraftMan sighed and faced front.

Greece, Colin, and Armenia were discussing their plans for the weekend.

Maryland suddenly stood up and pulled India by the collar, dragging him to her desk. She began whispering frantically.

"I need you to do something for me." Maryland asked meekly.

"Vaat is thaat?" India asked.

"I need you to tweak the voting results." Maryland implored.

"Voting results foor vaat?" India asked again.

"The student council president. That egotistical joke Connecticut is running, and he's projected to win by an earth-shattering landslide." Maryland whined.

"I don' knoow..." India replied tentatively.

"I will pay you $500... what is that in rupees... Blaze, what is that in rupees?" Maryland asked.

"48,212.40." Blaze replied instantly.

"Yeah, that." Maryland stuck her thumb up.

"Oh..." India considered the sum of money. "Fine. Give me yoor computer."

Maryland happily handed over her laptop and grinned, kissing India on the cheek.

India blushed and got to work.

Nauru was finishing his third breakfast. Mauritania and Pennsylvania scooted in on both sides of him.

"Hey!" Mauritania clapped Nauru's back, causing his large volume of fat to jiggle.

Nauru put down his fork and grasped the pencil in his fingers that were laden with adipose tissue.

Pennsylvania was choking down an Italian from Subway, one of his top ten favorite places to be.

Suddenly, Quebec bumped Pennsylvania harshly as she brushed by and swept Pennsylvania out of his seat.

"Ow! I stubbed my toe!" Pennsylvania yelped and held his foot.

"Heeeeeeeeeey, Canada!" Quebec slid next to Canada.

Canada looked disgusted. United States and England were hysterically laughing amongst each other.

"Allô, allô!" Quebec greeted enthusiastically. "Good day, n'est-ce pas?"

"Does he think he's French?" United States chuckled and elbowed England in the shoulder playfully. They turned away to chat with Bhutan and Nepal.

England laughed and held her stomach.

Canada sighed deeply. "Quebec, please be French somewhere else." She covered her mouth to prevent from bursting out in laughter.

"Non, I just of want to show là récipè I been working on." Quebec implored. She took out a wrapped bowl and some other ingredients from her bag.

"First toi of take French fries and add là curds de cheese. Then add of cremeuse sauce for keep fries warm." Quebec poured strange looking sauce all over the steamy dish. "And now you have poutine!"

"Quebec, what the actual hell is that?" Canada pinched her nose. 

"Is poutine!" Quebec replied eagerly.

"Disgusting is what it is. Looks like puke. Jesus Christ, Quebec!" Canada yelled.

"Ooh, what is that delicious smell?" United States asked suddenly.

Canada quickly snatched the bowl from Quebec. "It's my newest concoction, poo-teene."

"Give me some!" United States demanded. He eagerly and aggressively chewed on the strange mixture.

"This is great! Here, England, Greece, Colin! Try some of this!"

The three of them rushed over and stuck a fork into the bowl of foodstuffs.

"Just the right amount of fat." Colin marveled.

"Delicious, Canada!" England laughed.

"Canada, you are genius!" Greece replied, still chewing.

Quebec looked with utter contempt at Canada.

Suddenly, the door flew open.

"Sorry I'm late! I'll take attendance now!" Mr. Nato rushed in, still buttoning his shirt.

"Um... Alabama?"

"Here."

"Argentina?"

"Here."

"Arizona?"

Silence rang through the room.

"Arizona?" Mr. Nato repeated.

After waiting for a few seconds, he marked Arizona absent.

"Armenia?"

"Here."

"Bolivia."

"Here!"

"Bhutan."

"Here!"

"California?"

California laughed as she pushed her earbuds further in and scrolled through Instagram.

"CALIFORNIA!" Mr. Nato screamed again.

California started singing along to the reel. "I'm out of town, thugging with my rounds... my c-"

New Jersey took his thickest notebook and smacked California on the back of the head.

"WHAT?" California asked angrily.

"CALIFORNIA!" Mr. Nato screeched once again.

"HERE!" California screamed.

"Okay." Mr. Nato returned to his neutral expression.

"Canada?"

"Here!" Canada said, muffled by the incessant chewing of the poutine she "made".

"Chile?"

"Here."

"Colin?"

"Here."

Mr. Nato's attendance calling faded into the background as Paraguay attempted to cause another scene, all too common with Paraguay.

Iran shook his head.

"McKenzieFam."

"Here."

"MiecraftMan."

"Present!" MiecraftMan said cheerily, not wanting to say "here" for fear of seeming normal or commonplace. He always wanted to be different and quirky.

Utah rolled her eyes and opened her Bible up again to continue reading Ephesians.

"Mississippi."

Mississippi was unresponsive in the corner, likely due to being, as Georgia would call it, "dumb high."

Georgia looked at Mr. Nato to silently communicate. Mr. Nato nodded in approval and marked Mississippi present.

"Nauru?"

"Here- *mmf*" Nauru choked through his fourth breakfast.

"Nepal?"

"Nipple? What kind of name is that?" MiecraftMan asked.

"Says the one whose fat paraplegic mum couldn't even bother to spell Minecraft right..." England muttered suddenly.

"Oop-" California dramatically looked away.

"Vaatever. Here." Nepal answered finally.

"New Jersey."

"Here." New Jersey scoffed as he picked at his nails.

"Norway."

"Here."

As Mr. Nato got through the rest of the roster, it became clear that there were quite a few absent students, so it didn't take long to get through.

Suddenly, the bell rang, and the students stood in unison to exit the classroom.

"Have a great day! The end of the term is today, so the GPA results for the top 50 for the year will be out in the hall." Mr. Nato said.

The students were in a hurry to leave, but most heard what he said.

1. Massachusetts - 5.00

2. South Korea - 4.99

3. North Korea - 4.98

4. McKenzieFam - 4.97

5. Colin - 4.95

6. China - 4.94

7. Taiwan - 4.92

8. Kansas - 4.91

9. Belarus - 4.90

10. India - 4.88

11. Switzerland - 4.85

12. Sweden - 4.82

13. Finland - 4.78

14. Netherlands - 4.72

15. Liechtenstein - 4.69

16. Luxembourg - 4.65

17. Belgium - 4.58

18. Germany - 4.50

19. Maryland - 4.48

20. Cheese - 4.46

21. Australia - 4.44

22. MiecraftMan - 4.43

23. Rwanda - 4.42

24. Montana - 4.38

25. Norway - 4.31

26. Libya - 4.29

27. Botswana - 4.26

28. Japan - 4.24

29. Bhutan - 4.22

30. Egypt - 4.20

31. Malta - 4.16

32. Denmark - 4.16

33. Israel - 4.13

34. Connecticut - 4.11

35. New Mexico - 4.09

36. New Zealand - 4.07

37. Georgia_US- 4.05

38. Canada - 4.03

39. Chile - 4.01

40. Louisiana - 3.99

41. Armenia - 3.98

42. Virginia - 3.95

43. Austria - 3.93

44. Romania - 3.91

45. Bolivia - 3.88

46. Ukraine - 3.85

47. Cyprus - 3.84

48. Greece - 3.80

49. Qy - 3.76

50. Hawaii - 3.74

"Oh god of my! I seeing my name!" Armenia frantically dragged Greece and Colin to the poster on the wall.

"Where am I?" Colin asked.

"Number fiving! Look!" Armenia pointed to the top of the list.

"Oh, I'm there too!" Greece pointed towards the bottom of the list. "Wish Eγω was higher..."

"I into number 41! Ha, fake kebab!" Armenia exclaimed.

Azerbaijan rolled his eyes.

"Hi Greece!" Cyprus suddenly showed up. "I into top 50 list!"

"Me of into as well!" Greece replied. "Why yuo not come early more?"

"Turkiye was stop me and conversation about politic." Cyprus responded.

Over closer to the list, others expressed their pleasure and disapproval at their status on the list.

"Beauty! I made it on the list!" Australia beamed.

"Me too!" New Zealand, her younger brother, replied.

"Damn! I'm not on there." Lightning exclaimed.

"Quite alright. Don't get your knickers in a twist." Australia clapped Lightning on the back.

"Anyway... New Zealand, wanna come to the library to help with some homework? Australia, you can come too if you want." Lightning offered.

"Sure, this project is surely a hard yakka, I need all the time I can get." Australia sighed. "As long as I can find my lappy and get finished before last period, she'll be apples."

"Sometimes, I can't understand anything you say. This is one of those times." Lightning joked as the three of them headed for the library.

A bit further from the list against the wall, Qy was convening with Georgia_US, Kentucky, and Texas.

"Damn, looks like I done missed it this time." Texas sighed.

"I done missed it too, not that I expected to be there." Kentucky shrugged.

"Looks like I achieved top 50." Qy observed.

"Good job, man." Georgia looked away at Botswana, a girl he was trying to get with.

"Um, Georgia?" Qy asked.

"Yo?"

"Did you look at the list?"

"I skimmed over it. Why?" Georgia asked.

"Look at number 37." Qy demanded.

"Well I'll be damned. I made the list." Georgia looked stunned.

"Great job!" Kentucky clapped him on the back.

"I been knew I was workin' hard enough." Georgia pointed out.

"We're darn proud o' ya." Texas tipped his hat to Georgia.

Montana passed by suddenly. Texas tipped his hat to Montana, and Montana returned a silent nod.

"What's with him?" Qy asked.

"Nothing. He's a cool dude. He's just better off on his own." Texas explained.

"Alright..." Qy looked sideways at Texas, and walked off with Kentucky to the next period.

"Haha!" A sharp exclamation erupted from the shrinking crowd.

It was Massachusetts, looking prouder than ever.

He was standing near the big GPA poster with Louisiana.

"Number one, of course. I'm on track to becoming the valedictorian next year. Can't wait." Massachusetts beamed.

"Whatever. I'm just happy I'm on the list to begin with." Louisiana sighed. He was writing lyrics; Louisiana had started his own record label with a loan from Monaco.

"Yes, perhaps you're satisfied with 40th, but I won't accept anything under first." Massachusetts boasted.

Louisiana laughed weakly.

Meanwhile, North Korea was fuming with mind boggling anger that his dastardly brother, South Korea, had bested him.

Hungary had set up a rudimentary booth in the north wing of the courtyard for an important cause. People were forgetting about the club he started last year, the Visegrad Group, and he wanted more members to come.

His current members included Czechia, Slovakia, and Poland, but he felt that wasn't enough. He had already asked Germany, Austria, and Belarus to join. Germany politely declined, Austria turned around without saying anything, and Belarus snarled at him.

"Who yuo thréé think should adding to club?" Hungary asked?

"Want Ukraine to join!" Poland said.

Hungary rolled his eyes. He isn't super fond of Ukraine.

"Croatia..." Czechia groaned with hearts in his eyes.

"We should inviting Slovenia!" Slovakia suggested.

"Do we has any candidates?" Poland asked.

"Yes, we has one applicant." Hungary replied.

Suddenly, Romania bounded out of a random door and raced to their booth. Hungary grimaced.

"Am change my mind! Am actually want to join!" Romania panted loudly.

"Application be closed." Hungary tore down his sign and shot daggers at Romania. Romania looked dumbfounded.

Students in Mr. Nickelz's homeroom class:

(♀ - female, ♂ - male)

Arkansas ♀

Australia ♀

Belgium ♂

California ♀

Canada ♀

China ♂

Colin ♂

France ♂

Mexico ♀

Myanmar ♂

North Dakota ♀

Norway ♂

Panama ♀

Philippines ♀

Spain ♂

Sri Lanka ♂

Sweden ♂

United States ♂

Venezuela ♀

"Good morning, class!" Mr. Nickelz exclaimed to the class. "We're gonna do a map activity today. Can you guys guess what place this is?"

"Wait, I think I know this!" United States exclaimed suddenly. "Is it oil?"

"No." Mr. Nickelz replies.

"Is Saudi Arabia?" France asked.

"Yes! Correct! Good job, France!"

France looked pleased with himself, and closed Google Maps.

United States looked livid.

"For our next question, can you guys answer what sea this is?" Mr. Nickelz asked and showed the next picture on the projector.

"Easy! Is the South China Sea!" China piped up.

"Um, no?" Philippines said suddenly. "Is  West Phirippine Sea."

"No." China replied simply.

"I agree with China." Colin said suddenly.

"Nobody ask what yuo think. Stay out of it just like your father stay out of yuor life." Philippines barked.

"Oh-" California gasped and looked away.

"Anyway... is mine, so get over." Philippines demanded.

"Don't get me start." China snapped.

Nickelz looked stunned.

China got up and picked up his chair, holding it over his head.

"Oh my..." Panama covered her mouth.

"Let's move on..." Nickelz muttered frantically.

Table 1: Russia, Belarus, Iran, Kazakhstan, China, Serbia

Table 2: Mongolia, Pakistan, Armenia, North Korea, Afghanistan, Turkmenistan

Table 3: Venezuela, Myanmar, Laos, Eritrea, Syria, Namibia, Central African Republic, Vietnam

Table 4: Egypt, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, Qatar, Bahrain, Palestine, UAE, Oman

Table 5: Colin, Hungary, Czechia, Slovakia, South Korea, India, Croatia, Nepal, Bhutan

Table 6: Norway, Finland, Sweden, Denmark, Estonia, Latvia, Iceland, Lithuania

Table 7: England, Wales, Northern Ireland, Scotland, Australia, New Zealand, Lightning, MiecraftMan

Table 8: Toowise, Wyoming, New Mexico, Delaware, Florida, Paraguay, New York, Bolivia

Table 9: Texas, Kentucky, South Carolina, Tennessee, Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia, Qy

Table 10: Brazil, Mexico, Uruguay, Ecuador, Peru, Colombia, Chile, Argentina

Table 11: Blaze, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Turkey, Azerbaijan

Table 12: Nauru, Pennsylvania, Samoa, Mauritania, Kiribati, Papua New Guinea, Panama, Costa Rica

Table 13: United States, Canada, California, Switzerland, Monaco, Liechtenstein, Singapore, Israel

Table 14:  France, Spain, Portugal, Germany, Netherlands, Belgium, Italy

Table 15: Montenegro, Slovenia, Serbia, Bosnia, North Macedonia, Greece, Cyprus

Table 16: Austria, Hungary, Czechia, Slovakia, Malta, Quebec,

Table 17: Croatia, Albania, Kosovo, Bulgaria, Romania, Moldova

Table 18: Kansas, Minnesota, Vermont, New Hampshire

Table 19: Morocco, Botswana, Zimbabwe, Sierra Leone, Cheese, Kenya, Ethiopia, Ghana

Table 20: Chad, Democratic Republic of the Congo, South Africa, Libya, Nigeria, Somalia, Tanzania, Uganda

Table 21: Philippines, Thailand, Malaysia, Bangladesh, Japan, Taiwan

Table 22: Louisiana, Massachusetts, Maryland

Table 23: Hawaii, Maine

Table 24: San Marino, Vatican City, Andorra

Table 25: Poland, Georgia, Ukraine

"Ughhh!" Florida grunted.

"What is that sound?" California asked as she turned the corner. "Because it's honestly not giving."

"I don' know, lah." Singapore replied.

"Grahhh!" Florida pulled harder on the door.

"Is the door locked?" Maryland asked, attempting to be kind.

"I don't know..." Florida pulled even harder. "Ughhhh!"

California poked the door, and it opened a little.

"Are you kidding me...?" California looked stunned.

"Bombastic side eye." Singapore muttered.

"No one says that!" California threw her hands up in annoyance, and, slamming them down on her thighs, stomped into the cafeteria, pushing the door opened.

"Ugh." Singapore glared at Florida, and followed California.

"It's alright..." Maryland patted the back of a confused California.

"It's alright, amigo... I did the same thing on my first day..." New Mexico attempted to comfort Florida.

"Where is Japán?" Hungary asked.

'We make him reave." South Korea chuckled.

"Yeah, he was getting on my nerves. Stupid furry." Colin muttered annoyedly.

"Right..." Hungary looked away awkwardly.

"Hello!" India suddenly sat down at their table, and Nepal and Bhutan followed suit.

"Oh... er... hi." Hungary waved weakly.

"This Indo, Nepar, and Butan. We invite them to reprace Japan." South Korea said. Colin nodded in agreement.

"Oh, okay." Czechia replied.

United States was laughing with Israel and Monaco.

"Who was good at what?" Canada asked.

"Oh, just talking about when Maldives accepted my offer to take her out." United States responded casually.

"You did WHAT?" Canada asked, bewildered.

"Oh yeah. I asked if she'd go out with me, and she said 'noon'. So I guess we're going out at noon tomorrow!" United States beamed.

"'Noon' means no in her language..." Canada murmured.

"Whatever, you're a hater, and you're just mad because your brother committed suicide last year." United States muttered bitterly.

"Oop-" California and Singapore said simultaneously.

"Whatever. I hope she dumps you." Canada got up and walked away with tears in her eyes.

"Oh no..." United States looked guilty.

Students in Mrs. Guiana's Theater class:

Albania ♀

Australia ♀

Belgium ♂

California ♀

Canada ♀

Croatia ♀

England ♀

Ethiopia ♀

France ♂

Japan ♂

Mexico ♀

Montenegro ♂

Nepal ♂

Niger ♂

Panama ♀

Scotland ♂

Serbia ♀

Slovenia ♀

Spain ♂

Sri Lanka ♂

Sweden ♂

Taiwan ♂

Vietnam ♀

"Alright, class, your assignment today is to finish the report on the short film 'It's Not Just A Boulder, It's Iraq'." Mrs. Guiana briskly sat in her seat and began to eat her much-anticipated lunch.

"Jaja." Spain laughed, which was very apparent in the quiet classroom. Most people were listening to the film with earbuds while completing the assignment.

Most turned to face Spain, but, after shooting a quick glare, continued the assigned work.

"Honhon." France murmured. The same response ensued from the class.

"AUGH!" A loud, erotic moan echoed from Spain's computer.

"What was that?" Mrs. Guiana asked.

"N-nada..." Spain muttered nervously.

"No. Hand your computer over, right now." Mrs. Guiana demanded.

"No!" Spain protested.

"NOW!"

"Fine." Spain reluctantly handed it over.

"Oh my god, these dastardly adult films!"

"Whatever. Peu importe." France rolled his eyes.

"You guys have two choices." Mrs. Guiana said suddenly.

"Which are?" France asked.

"Either go to the principal's office... or recreate this film in front of the whole class." Mrs. Guiana demanded, and winked at Japan.

Japan looked elated, and took out his phone to record. Sweden followed suit.

"Oh, Dios mio... nosotros really have to do this?" Spain asked.

France began unbuttoning his shirt.

"What are you doing?" Spain asked.

France leaned in to kiss Spain.

"What the hell?" Spain slapped France and stomped off to the principal's office. France followed him while buttoning his shirt.

"I knewwen he vas gay." Sweden laughed.

Check here for the profiles of each character! It's at 49,907 characters, so I can't really add more. Maybe one or two. If you want to be a student, comment!

I hope you enjoyed. Please like and comment. Thanks for reading.