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Jerry Seinfeld or William Shakespeare?

Can you name whether these quotes are from Jerry Seinfeld or William Shakespeare?
Some pronouns and verbs have been switched in order to make this more ambiguous
Quiz by WolfCam
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Last updated: February 9, 2019
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First submittedFebruary 9, 2019
Times taken458
Average score66.7%
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1. "Away, you three-inch fool!"
Jerry Seinfeld ✓
William Shakespeare ✓
2. "This is business, I have to humiliate myself"
Jerry Seinfeld ✓
William Shakespeare ✓
3. "I'd beat you, but I would infect my hands"
Jerry Seinfeld ✓
William Shakespeare ✓
4. "98% of the human endeavor is killing time"
Jerry Seinfeld ✓
William Shakespeare ✓
5. "Once you start doing only what you've already proven you can do, you're on the road to death."
Jerry Seinfeld ✓
William Shakespeare ✓
6. "I wish you all the joy of the worm"
Jerry Seinfeld ✓
William Shakespeare ✓
7. "Why is nice bad. What kind of sick society are we living in where nice is bad?"
Jerry Seinfeld ✓
William Shakespeare ✓
8. "It's like a barber's chair that fits all the buttocks"
Jerry Seinfeld ✓
William Shakespeare ✓
9. "You lump of foul deformity!"
Jerry Seinfeld ✓
William Shakespeare ✓
10. "I'll set my ten commandments in your face"
Jerry Seinfeld ✓
William Shakespeare ✓
11. "I can't compete in a normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable!"
Jerry Seinfeld ✓
William Shakespeare ✓
12. "Expectation is the root of all heartache"
Jerry Seinfeld ✓
William Shakespeare ✓
13. "A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence that people are thinking"
Jerry Seinfeld ✓
William Shakespeare ✓
14. "To live is to keep moving"
Jerry Seinfeld ✓
William Shakespeare ✓
15. "God has given you one face and you make yourself another
Jerry Seinfeld ✓
William Shakespeare ✓
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