Jerry Seinfeld or William Shakespeare?

Can you name whether these quotes are from Jerry Seinfeld or William Shakespeare?
Some pronouns and verbs have been switched in order to make this more ambiguous
Quiz by WolfCam
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Last updated: February 9, 2019
First submittedFebruary 9, 2019
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1. "Away, you three-inch fool!"
Jerry Seinfeld
William Shakespeare
2. "This is business, I have to humiliate myself"
Jerry Seinfeld
William Shakespeare
3. "I'd beat you, but I would infect my hands"
Jerry Seinfeld
William Shakespeare
4. "98% of the human endeavor is killing time"
Jerry Seinfeld
William Shakespeare
5. "Once you start doing only what you've already proven you can do, you're on the road to death."
Jerry Seinfeld
William Shakespeare
6. "I wish you all the joy of the worm"
Jerry Seinfeld
William Shakespeare
7. "Why is nice bad. What kind of sick society are we living in where nice is bad?"
Jerry Seinfeld
William Shakespeare
8. "It's like a barber's chair that fits all the buttocks"
Jerry Seinfeld
William Shakespeare
9. "You lump of foul deformity!"
Jerry Seinfeld
William Shakespeare
10. "I'll set my ten commandments in your face"
Jerry Seinfeld
William Shakespeare
11. "I can't compete in a normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable!"
Jerry Seinfeld
William Shakespeare
12. "Expectation is the root of all heartache"
Jerry Seinfeld
William Shakespeare
13. "A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence that people are thinking"
Jerry Seinfeld
William Shakespeare
14. "To live is to keep moving"
Jerry Seinfeld
William Shakespeare
15. "God has given you one face and you make yourself another
Jerry Seinfeld
William Shakespeare
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