Step-by-Step Story #2 : A Tale of Whales, Mail, and Disassembly

Well, I think it's time to compile the full result of our Moby Dick step-by-step story. (I will be referring to this as a SBSS, to save space when writing.)

Thanks to Fianchetto, ItzIngenious, Neodymium, Dimby, JetPunker180, FreeStater, Capybarra, TheOrca, and Insaniot for participating. Nickelz and Kingsfisher, you guys signed up but didn't leave any comments. Sorry, but you've missed out on this one.

Right, who wants to see the story?

The good ship Pequod gently sways on a glassy sea. Starbuck, the captain's assistant, awakes, famished. For fifteen days the whole crew has subsided on nothing more than rotten gruel, and even that is running out. What's more, Starbuck fears they're running out of time to gain the ultra rare Peter Griffin skin.

While the other crew members are eating their rational of gruel, Dunkin Donought secretly slips back to their quarters to eat zooplankton. His roommate, Fishmail, who delivers mail to sea life, notices this strange behavior. However, as the gruel is so terrible, he decides to try some zooplankton too.

Eating nothing but rotten gruel is driving the second mate, Dutch Brother, slightly crazy. They begin to disassemble the galley with a wild look in their eyes.

Meanwhile, at the bottom of the ocean, Moby Dick sits inside his nuclear-proof bunker at the bottom of the Mariana Trench, watching the approaching ship. He wonders if he should come up and make the sailor's lives more interesting.

Back on board the ship, Fishmail slumps to the deck. Dunkin is addicted to painkillers and had added tranquilizers to the zooplankton. Dunkin was not tranked because he's secretly a whale and can metabolize it. Captain Ahab steps over Fishmail's unconscious form and enters the hold, where he finds an enormous mailbox. What's inside? Ahab opens it and finds...his father's body!

Underwater again, Moby Dick refuses to let his little sister, Moby Icky, enter his nuclear-proof bunker, so Moby Icky broadcasts a message on the radio to all prospecting whale-hunters : "there is rumored to be a huge whale hiding in a nuclear-proof bunker on the bottom of the sea."

Up on Pequod, Dutch Brother finishes disassembling the galley and begins disassembling the mast. Ishmael throws Dutch Brother overboard to prevent him from disassembling everything. Moby Dick finds Dutch Brother and invites him inside the nuclear-proof bunker/lair, where MD gives him a toy galleon to disassemble, while scheming about ways to disassemble the real thing.

Fishmail wakes up, and vomits seawater on the galley. He arches his back in writhing pain. It feels like a hot skewer is stabbing through his back into his lungs. Even in this pain, he knows he has a delivery at this spot in the ocean. He rushes to the deck and throws a package labeled “Acme galleon disassembly instructions” overboard. He slides on sunglasses. 

Fishmail : 'Call me Fishmail.'

Dunkin Donought : 'You're Fishmail.'

Queequeg : "Fishmail, my friend, you've truly taken oceanic mail delivery to a whole new level. But now, it seems we have a dilemma on our hands. Our ship is falling apart, we're running out of gruel, and your zooplankton shenanigans have added a whole new dimension to our maritime misadventures. I suggest we consult the ancient and wise sea turtle philosopher, known for his expertise in ship repairs and deep-sea wisdom."

Instead, however, Captain Ahab sees something white moving beneath the water and jumps overboard in excitement. Moby Icky hides in a cave full of purple cuttlefish to avoid being found by the whalers. Dutch Brother and Moby Dick leave MD's lair armed with hammers and muskets. Dutch Brother begins to disassemble it, while Moby Dick shoots cannonballs out of his blowhole to wreck the ship.

Dunkin Donought tells the entire crew that it would be great fun to fall asleep at once. Moby Dick swims up and finds the whole crew sleeping (they apparently agreed with Dunkin), so he rams the ship and creates a big hole. Him and Dunkin then start drinking coffee together while talking about their families.

Once Dutch Brother has finished disassembling the ship, Moby Dick and his family perform a special ritual to turn the crew into krill, before....eating them. Captain Ahab lets Moby Dick eat him, but survives and lives inside MD's stomach, where he plots to defeat MD once and for all.

MD eats a fire-breathing, krill-eating penguin named Balthazar, in an attempt to finish off Ahab once and for all. Moby Icky realizes that with Moby Dick out of his bunker, she can finally go inside without MD seeing her! Unfortunately, the bunker's security system detects an intruder and explodes, slaughtering everything in a one-mile radius. Good thing MD and his allies are far enough away.

Moby Dick and his allies swim in slow motion as a mushroom cloud and flames (underwater, yes) appear behind them, looking super cool until Dutch Brother looks back and ruins the effect. Pro tip: whenever you find yourself walking away from an explosion, resist the urge to look back.

And that finishes this one! Thanks again for participating, everyone. Now, the 3rd SBSS will come out on March 2 (or maybe 3 depending on where you are), but I want YOUR vote to decide the prompt for #4. Vote in the comments for the scenario you like best!