The Space Chronicles - Episode I

In this new series I’m doing, planets, moons, and possibly other celestial objects later on will be personified in a script-like theme.  I hope you enjoy!

Earth and Mars are having a “friendly” conversation

Earth: Mars, may I inhabit you?

Mars: No, you’d squish me with overpopulation!  I’m not as big as you, you know.

Earth: Well, you don’t have oceans anymore.

Mars: No need to flex, you meanie.  My answer is no.  Inhabit your moon or something.

Moon: Yay!

Phobos: Yeah, inhabit your moon.

Deimos: What he said!

Earth: Fine, I’ll take you by force.  You’ll never see it coming.

Earth returns their concentration on building more destructive nukes and ultimately destroying themselves.

Five hours later

Earth is sending spaceships equipped with nukes, lasers, missiles, and other catastrophic, destructive baloney.

Mars: Welp, I saw it coming.

Mars surrenders.

Humankind flees Earth and climate change in a cowardish move, choosing to inhabit Mars.

Sadly, Earth themselves does not make it to Mars and heats up in a blazing inferno, never again inhabitable to humankind.

Phobos and Damos: Shoot

Moon: I feel replaced.

Eris, Haumea, Makemake, and Ceres are chatting with each other

_{Eris: Doesn’t it just stink to be a dwarf planet?}

Makemake: At least you don’t have to spend every day rolling around in the Kuiper Belt.  You get your distance from the real planets.

Haumea: +1

Ceres: +2

???: Ya’ll have zero ambition.  You want to be out of the Kuiper Belt, while I want to be planet again. Don’t you?

Makemake, Haumea, Eris, and Ceres: We never were planets, Pluto.

Pluto: Hmmm….

Eris and Ceres: Oh right, we were.  It really has been a while since we felt that glory….

Makemake and Haumea: Hey, we want in!

Pluto: See, we all have that fierce ambition and craving of rights inside of us!  Join me, my dwarf friends, to regain/gain our rightful status!

Makemake, Haumea, Eris, and Ceres: *Cheers loudly*

Sagittarius A* is scheming the delicious, grand, taste of the Milky Way sloshing around in it’s mouth

Sagittarius A*: Won’t it be a grand day when the entire galaxy is sucked into the nothingness void that is me?

S4714: Um, why yes your black hole-y nobleness.

S4714’s severe trypophobia is kicking in.

Sagittarius A*: Why yes, a grand day indeed….

What will happen in the next episode of Space Chronicles?  Will Earth’s former inhabitants get greedier and greedier, next trying to conquer some other planets?  Will the dwarf planets get their status as a planet by war, or by peace, or never?  Will Sagittarius A* think up some grand scheme to eat the entire Milky Way?  Stay tuned to find out!