From the Villain's Point of View

Do you have anything to declare?

Villain

I lived quietly in my Romanian castle until this young man upset my routine. Strange routine you say? I have the right to sleep in a coffin and drink blood. Am I criticizing your lifestyle?

Yes, I like fashion and warm clothes. Fur is perfect on both counts so why should I deprive myself of it? And fur from spotted dogs is the best!

A little man stole my jewellry and you say I'm the bad guy? This item was so precious to me.

That guy in the dark suit had me locked up in the asylum because I wanted to make people laugh! He needs to relax: he's definitely too serious!

I offered my son the chance to rule the Galaxy by my side. The kid was so reluctant I had to cut his arm off. Does that make me a bad dad? No. That's just my style of parenting.

I just wanted to give this baby an original welcome gift. A lightning bolt tattoo seemed so cool to me! On second thought, I should have chosen the biceps instead of the forehead.

Don't blame Mother, that girl needed to be punished.

My embittered nephew chased me from the throne when I had done nothing wrong.

I've tried everything to make friends: shape-shifting, funny makeup, and even balloons. But nothing helps. Social interaction isn't easy when you come from another dimension.

So enjoying your favorite meat with fava beans and a nice Italian wine is now a crime?

Why do I keep this on my face? There's nothing like a skin mask to protect you from

Torture you say? I simply motivated him to finish the best novel of his career.