Pop Songs By Synopsis

Guess the names of these popular songs tearing up the charts based on the description of their deeply profound lyrics.
Answers reflect the slightly less crass radio edit versions of these songs.
Quiz by kalbahamut
Last updated: October 16, 2018
First submittedApril 10, 2014
Times taken433
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You can tell from the way I'm looking at you that I want to have intercourse and I cannot think of any poetic or interesting way to say it.
I Wanna (Love) You
Jason Derulo
I've just met you but I will try to convince you to come with me by explaining the explicit sexual fantasies that you already feature in in my imagination.
In My Head
Destiny's Child
I doubt that you have mentally prepared yourself for the manner in which the fat on my posterior jostles about similar to, for lack of a clever metaphor, fruit preserves.
Enrique Iglesias
Everyone knows that I'm a womanizing misogynist but regardless I am so confident that you will sleep with me I feel like stating this in the most tactless way possible.
Tonight (I'm Loving You)
Black Eyed Peas
I am going to mesmerize you with my protuding lady parts which, for lack of any ability to come up with pleasant or attractive metaphor, I've made sound like a growth on the back of Quasimodo.
My Humps
I love to degrade and be violent toward women. Now I'm going to repeat the same lyrics but replace the word "love" with "hate" because I can't think of anything legitimately clever to do instead.
Figured You Out
Come here so I can check and see if you are impotent and/or well endowed.
Rude Boy
(ft. Rihanna)
Let's romanticize jealousy and violence toward females thereby enabling thousands of young women to stay in dangerous or suicidal relationships.
Love the Way You Lie
Black Eyed Peas
I suspect I'll have fun tonight because I have some money to spend and that's all this song has to say.
I Gotta Feeling
Rebecca Black
It's the end of the week and we're going to party, let's sing about it in a way so insipid that even people who like pop music will make fun of us.
I'm going to say literally any random thing that enters my mind, for instance this boy band enjoyed success while Asian food disagrees with me.
Summer Girls
David Guetta
(ft. Akon)
I'm struggling to come up with an inoffensive way to describe an attractive woman but the best I can do is compare her to a prostitute or female dog.
Sexy Chick
Katy Perry
I want to see your genitals.
Willow Smith
I violently swing my hair to and fro because apparently my daddy hasn't taught me how to dance yet.
Whip My Hair
(ft. Eminem)
Let's go to my place to hang out because I am fixated on the possibility of slapping your buttocks with an open palm. Not interested? Did I mention I had a Lamborghini?
Smack That
Level 61
May 30, 2014
this is hilarious :D would you at least think about creating a similar one, please? :)
Level 81
Jun 8, 2014
I'm happy you liked the quiz. I'll consider making another, but there was some trouble getting this one approved (had to resubmit it several times and argue my case a bit due to the "offensive" nature of some of the lyrics, even phrased somewhat antiseptically as they are above, but this is the current state of pop music), and also after the first few songs it took me a while to come up with the rest. I don't listen to the radio all that much, and also I was really trying to pick out songs that were remarkably vapid, even by the low standards set by contemporary popular music. If the song had something worthwhile to say, even if it did so ineloquently or inartfully, I would generally pass it over and look for something else dumber. What I came up with I think is really the chaffe de la chaffe, doing another like this would require a lot of digging. Maybe after a few years when the current drek on the radio has been rotated off for new drek.
Level 81
Jun 8, 2014
I also didn't want to pick out songs that were totally obscure and impossible to guess. Otherwise there were many more I could have used.
Level 81
Mar 16, 2017
I've been tempted lately to write a sequel to this quiz. In particular, there are no less than three separate songs tearing up the charts recently (one by no less the lyrical genius than Justin Bieber) all about the same thing, namely: "hey, I'm so totally over you, mr./miss ex boyfriend/girlfriend. I don't even think about you anymore. To prove it I'm going to make a famous song about you and play it at all of my concerts for the next 20 years. Nothing shows that I've moved on more than that."

However... doing research for this sort of thing requires listening to pop music. And that's excruciating.

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