|
Rank
|
|
Dude
|
|
Yeah, him
|
|
1.
|
|
Jesus Christ
|
|
Hippie dude from a broken home who was a really nice guy to everyone
|
|
2.
|
|
Napoleon Bonepart
|
|
Short, angry French military man
|
|
3.
|
|
Muhammad
|
|
Islamic dude who prayed a lot
|
|
4.
|
|
William Shakespeare
|
|
Englishman who rocked a pair of tights and wrote a bunch of plays
|
|
5.
|
|
Abraham Lincoln
|
|
Beardy American prez who looks a bit like Daniel Day Lewis
|
|
6.
|
|
George Washington
|
|
The dollar bill guy. His head is shaped like a mushroom
|
|
7.
|
|
Adolf Hitler
|
|
Power-hungry Austrian wacko who didn't have many friends
|
|
8.
|
|
Aristotle
|
|
Smart Greek dude who pointed a lot
|
|
9.
|
|
Alexander the Great
|
|
Short, blond, great Macedonian with a huge backyard
|
|
10.
|
|
Thomas Jefferson
|
|
Wrote some kind of Declaration in the 1770s
|
|
11.
|
|
Henry VIII of England
|
|
Fat, ginger English king; fan of divorce and beheadings
|
|
12
|
|
Charles Darwin
|
|
Nature-boy, not a believer of silly origin stories about apples and snakes
|
|
13.
|
|
Queen Elizabeth I
|
|
Queenie. The most famous ginger virgin in history
|
|
14.
|
|
Karl Marx
|
|
Not related to Groucho. Had an impressive beard
|
|
15.
|
|
Julius Caesar
|
|
Roman emperor. Thought Brutus was his friend. Thought wrong.
|
|
16.
|
|
Queen Victoria
|
|
This dumpy queen was never amused
|
|
17.
|
|
Martin Luther
|
|
This German monk thought the church was full of crap and told them so
|
|
18.
|
|
Joseph Stalin
|
|
Terrifying Georgian with funky moustache who hated everyone
|
|
19.
|
|
Albert Einstein
|
|
German mad scientist, looked like Doc Brown
|
|
20.
|
|
Christopher Columbus
|
|
Died believing he had sailed west to India
|
|
21.
|
|
Isaac Newton
|
|
Brit who spent a lot of time sitting under apple trees
|
|
22.
|
|
Charlemagne
|
|
Italian king-emperor of France, didn't like Muslims much
|
|
23.
|
|
Theodore Roosevelt
|
|
Teddy bear president
|
|
24.
|
|
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
|
|
Talented, smart-mouthed, childish Austrian composer
|
|
25.
|
|
Plato
|
|
Another smart Greek guy...
|
|
26.
|
|
Louis XIV of France
|
|
King of France and the Sun and of tights and wigs
|
|
27.
|
|
Ludwig van Beethoven
|
|
Deaf German man of music; looked grumpy
|
|
28.
|
|
Ulysses S. Grant
|
|
Fifty dollar bill American president
|
|
29.
|
|
Leonardo da Vinci
|
|
Homosexual Italian sculpty-painty-inventy-Codey guy
|
|
30.
|
|
Augustus
|
|
Roman emperor who wanted his own month
|
|
31.
|
|
Carl Linnaeus
|
|
Swedish nature-boy, wrote about plants and animals
|
|
32.
|
|
Ronald Reagan
|
|
Crusty American actor president
|
|
33.
|
|
Charles Dickens
|
|
British author of really cheerful stories of happier times
|
|
34.
|
|
Paul the Apostle
|
|
One of the hippy guy's thirteen friends
|
|
35.
|
|
Benjamin Franklin
|
|
Hundred dollar bill guy. Invented stuff
|
|
36.
|
|
George W. Bush
|
|
Election-stealing, dopey Texan
|
|
37.
|
|
Winston Churchill
|
|
Rolly-polly, cigar smoking British leader guy
|
|
38.
|
|
Genghis Khan
|
|
Angry, blood-thirsty, rapey and pillagey Mongolian rampager
|
|
39.
|
|
Charles I of England
|
|
English king........ of his own beheading
|
|
40.
|
|
Thomas Edison
|
|
History greatest inventor and thief
|
|
41.
|
|
James I of England
|
|
Scottish king.......of England
|
|
42.
|
|
Friedrich Nietzsche
|
|
German thinker who killed God
|
|
43.
|
|
Franklin D. Roosevelt
|
|
FDR: American Badass
|
|
44.
|
|
Sigmund Freud
|
|
Austrian head shrinker; liked Oedipus
|
|
45.
|
|
Alexander Hamilton
|
|
American whose ass was handed to him in a duel
|
|
46.
|
|
Mohandas Gandhi
|
|
Peaceful, Indian nappy wearer
|
|
47.
|
|
Woodrow Wilson
|
|
Specky American wartime leader. Had a few points to make. No-one listened
|
|
48.
|
|
Johann Sebastian Bach
|
|
German composer who Baroque a bunch of stuff
|
|
49.
|
|
Galileo Galilei
|
|
Star-gazing Italian with the best name ever
|
|
50.
|
|
Oliver Cromwell
|
|
Warty British party pooper
|
|
51.
|
|
James Madison
|
|
American president. Went shopping. Bought Louisiana
|
|
52.
|
|
Gautama Buddha
|
|
Fat, happy statue guy
|
|
53.
|
|
Mark Twain
|
|
American writer who gave us Tom and Huck
|
|
54.
|
|
Edgar Allan Poe
|
|
The first Goth. Wrote about talking birds and beating hearts
|
|
55.
|
|
Joseph Smith, Jr.
|
|
Made his own religion so he could have more wives
|
|
56.
|
|
Adam Smith
|
|
Scottish money-man with the most boring of names
|
|
57.
|
|
David, King of Israel
|
|
Biblical king, not a fan of philistines
|
|
58.
|
|
George III of the United Kingdom
|
|
German king of England who went cuckoo
|
|
59.
|
|
Immanuel Kant
|
|
German guy who thought too much and probably never went to the opera
|
|
60.
|
|
James Cook
|
|
English explorer. The Hawaiians didn't like him much
|
|
61.
|
|
John Adams
|
|
Bald-ish, goody-good American president number 2
|
|
62.
|
|
Richard Wagner
|
|
Wrote opera about fat Viking women
|
|
63.
|
|
Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky
|
|
Russian composer who thought cannons should be an instrument
|
|
64.
|
|
Voltaire
|
|
Church-bashing, freedom-loving smarmy French writer
|
|
65.
|
|
Saint Peter
|
|
Was actually a rabbit, according to South Park
|
|
66.
|
|
Andrew Jackson
|
|
American president no-one outside of America really cares about
|
|
67.
|
|
Constantine the Great
|
|
Roman emperor with his very own Turkish city
|
|
68.
|
|
Socrates
|
|
Beardy Greek corrupter of youth. Threw wild poison drinking parties
|
|
69.
|
|
Elvis Presley
|
|
Clean-cut, all-American hip-thrusting rocker
|
|
70.
|
|
William the Conqueror
|
|
Busted him some goddam Saxon arse to become king of Britain
|
|
71.
|
|
John F. Kennedy
|
|
Commie-loving president who should have skipped Dallas that day
|
|
72.
|
|
Augustine of Hippo
|
|
Doomed humanity by inventing the Catholic Church
|
|
73.
|
|
Vincent van Gogh
|
|
Dutch painter who didn't like his ear
|
|
74.
|
|
Nicolaus Copernicus
|
|
Heliocentric German star-gazer. Made him some powerful enemies.
|
|
75.
|
|
Vladimir Lenin
|
|
Russian rabble rouser with history's trendiest goatee
|
|
76.
|
|
Robert E. Lee
|
|
Picked the wrong team to lead in the US Civil war
|
|
77.
|
|
Oscar Wilde
|
|
Witty and wilde Irish writer who liked him the dudes
|
|
78.
|
|
Charles II of England
|
|
English king; 17 illegitimate children; Penchant for massive wigs
|
|
79.
|
|
Cicero
|
|
Lawyer emperor of Rome; thought Mark Antony was a dick
|
|
80.
|
|
Jean-Jacques Rousseau
|
|
French thinky-type and fan of revolutions
|
|
81.
|
|
Francis Bacon
|
|
English scientist. Enjoyed ruffs, hats and pointy beards. Went well with eggs
|
|
82.
|
|
Richard Nixon
|
|
The most non-crookest man in America
|
|
83.
|
|
Louis XVI of France
|
|
Frenchie who could not keep being king without a head
|
|
84.
|
|
Charles V, Holy Roman Emperor
|
|
Emperor who wanted to be a monk instead
|
|
85.
|
|
King Arthur
|
|
Not a real king. Liked round furniture
|
|
86.
|
|
Michelangelo
|
|
Italian artist, fond of ceilings and naked guys called David
|
|
87.
|
|
Philip II of Spain
|
|
Spanish king who lost all his toy boats to a girl
|
|
88.
|
|
Johann von Goethe
|
|
German raconteur and Sorcerer's Apprentice
|
|
89.
|
|
Ali
|
|
Islamic dude, wanted his own religion too, maybe to make up for his boring name
|
|
90.
|
|
Thomas Aquinas
|
|
God-botherer, loved being a priest, probably a real boring guy
|
|
91.
|
|
Pope John Paul II
|
|
Popular Polish catholic
|
|
92.
|
|
René Descartes
|
|
French guy who thought and therefore he was
|
|
93.
|
|
Nikola Tesla
|
|
Serbian inventor and mad scientist
|
|
94.
|
|
Harry S. Truman
|
|
American president. Nuked the bastards
|
|
95.
|
|
Joan of Arc
|
|
God-bothering French chick with a sword
|
|
96.
|
|
Dante Alighieri
|
|
Italian funny-man who strolled through Hell just for a laugh
|
|
97.
|
|
Otto von Bismarck
|
|
Prussian Warmonger who made a country called Germany coz he could so there
|
|
98.
|
|
Grover Cleveland
|
|
American president who shares his name with a Muppet
|
|
99.
|
|
John Calvin
|
|
Made his own religion to piss off the pope
|
|
100.
|
|
Johann Gutenberg
|
|
German whose machine prevented writer's cramp
|
http://www.jetpunk.com/user-quizzes/42254/top-100-people-of-the-millennium
Plus I have one from the 20th century.
Allow for some spelling variations.