RUB Times | Subbookkeepers Take Over Russia, China, and More Countries
First published: Wednesday February 16th, 2022
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Intro
Another edition of RUB Times, or Funny Newspaper Headlines. Containing Headlines, JetPunk News, a Crossword Puzzle, and Memes! Enjoy!
Subbookkeepers Conquer World Powerhouses Like USA, China, Russia, UK, and India!
The Subbookkeepers already have the power of the longest consecutive pair of double letters, but they want more! A army has appeared out of nowhere made up of Subbookkeepers, and they have already conquered Russia, UK, France, USA, China, India, Canada, and Australia!
Walking Refrigerators Attack Cyprus!
Amongst all the chaos with the Subbookkeepers, a new threat has emerged! Walking refrigerators are attacking the most powerful country in the world, Cyprus! I have yet to see one of these infamous fridges….
Oh, no! Not Cyprus! And refrigerators on legs? What type of legs? Human legs? Robot legs? You, know, maybe this wouldn’t be too bad if the refrigerators had some Coca-Cola in them!
Pig Latin Declared National Language of US!
The United States has declared Pig Latin as the official language of the US! Schools are now requiring this as mandatory learning, and signs now read in Pig Latin as well as English!
Oh wow, I better get learning! I’ve made a few attempts at learning this language, but I can never remember the formula. Maybe this will prompt me to learn it.
Monopoly Money Declared National Currency of US!
Monopoly Money has been declared the national currency of the United States! Prices for the game are soaring, and there’s already a new richest person.
Does this make me rich lol? I have so many versions of this game. Sorry that this one and the last one were a little US Centric, I couldn’t think of anything better.
Toenail Clippings Sell for Astounding Prices!
Rich people are buying toenail clippings for thousands of dollars! People have no idea what they plan to do with the clippings, because it is surely very strange that they’re buying them for thousands of dollars.
This is weird lol. What kind of idiot would pay thousands of dollars for a mere toenail clipping? Don’t they have their own toenails lol. I wonder what they even plan to do with them, maybe build a toenail palace?
JetPunk News
This is a new section I’m doing. Each week will feature newly updated featured quizzes, quizzes featured that week, blogs with more than ten likes, JetPunk updates, changes to the first page of the nomination board, and changes to the Top 100 Quizmaker leaderboard.
Updated Quizzes:
General Knowledge Quiz #191
General Knowledge Quiz #194
NFL Defensive Players of the Year
NFL Rookies of the Year
General Knowledge Quiz #198
U.S. General Knowledge #1
U.S. General Knowledge #2
U.S. General Knowledge #3
U.S. General Knowledge #4
Super Bowl Winners Quiz
Colleges of Super Bowl Winning QBs
Super Bowl Winning QBs
Winning Super Bowl Coaches Quiz
Super Bowl Losers Quiz
Super Bowl MVPs Quiz
Super Bowl Losing QBs
North American Sports Champions Since 2000
U.S. General Knowledge Quiz #5
General Knowledge Quiz #1
General Knowledge Quiz #2
General Knowledge Quiz #3
General Knowledge Quiz #4
General Knowledge Quiz #5
Pixar Movies Quiz
NBA Players with the Most All-Star Selections
NBA All-Stars by Team
Oscar Hosts
Spanish Immigration by Country
Featured Quizzes:
General Knowledge Quiz #217
Most Common Ingredients in “Mastering the Art of French Cooking”
Build-a-Bird By Guessing Countries
U.S. History Timeline “Map” Quiz
Blogs With 10 Likes:
Chinese Idioms with Tiger
Changes to the Nomination Board:
Data has not been collected for this yet.
Changes to the Top 100 Quizmaker Leaderboard:
Data has not been collected for this yet.
JetPunk Updates:
There have been no JetPunk updates this week.
Crossword Puzzle
Contains a crossword puzzle I made. If any words are hard to read, ask in the comments.
Vertical
1. Soda Company
2. What you do when you get a bite fishing
3. Third Season
4. Our Planet
5. Evolves from a tadpole
Horizontal
1. Software Company
2. Bird of Prey
3. A Muslim who has been to Mecca as a pilgrim
4. Used to make animals go faster
5. Place where you gamble
Meme Section
Contains two memes I made.
Any meme ideas? Say so in the comments and they might get used!
Outro
Thank you for reading this weeks edition of RUB Times (Funny Newspaper Headlines)! Episodes will be posted every Wednesday, at 9:45 AM PST. Any suggestions? Say so in the comments!
Bye!
I should also start clipping toenailspiecepeace.(Naturian is the official language of the world!)
Also I like the end logo! A suggestion: For the blogs with more than 10 likes, how about you just do the top 3 or top 5 blogs? Because it could be possible (although unlikely) that no blog got 10 likes in that week.
"Sure grandma, let's get you to bed"
And for the second format, the last skull can be Orcspelers lol