Jim Gaffigan Quotes

Fill in the blanks to complete Jim Gaffigan's comedy!
Quiz by SukiKabuki
Last updated: February 26, 2014
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First submittedJanuary 31, 2014
Times taken41
Average score44.0%
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I went _____ recently…for this next joke.
I like all kinds of meat, even _____. “I knew he was white trash.”
I tell you, I thought the IHOP was a dump until I went into a _____ _____.
Waffle House
If you’re out of shape and you’re bowling, you’re probably a _____ bowler.
I do want everyone to feel comfortable. That’s why I like to talk to you about _____.
Now don’t get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin’ ‘em more… fun to pet, better to _____.
I watch a lot of TV, I drink a lot of coffee, but you know what’s really addictive? _____.
Whenever you are single, all you see are couples, but whenever you are a couple, all you see are _____.
There is the vegetarian Hot Pocket for those of us who don’t want to eat meat, but would still like _____.
Pie can’t compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebody’s _____in the kitchen.
Actually, the reason I look like this is because my father was from Sweden and my mother was _____ _____.
Elton John
But in Indiana it's not like New York where everyone's like, 'We're from New York and we're the best' or 'We're from Texas and we like things big' it's more like 'We're from Indiana and we're _____ _____."
gonna move
Ever read a book that changed your life? _____ _____.
Me neither
You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a _____.
I'm blind, bald, and pale. I'm like a gigantic _____ _____.
recessive gene
Ever eat so much you feel sick? Isn't that the _____?
I only dated one Asian girl, but she was very Asian. She was a _____.
My wife always wants me to go to confession - don't get me wrong, it's not as if I don't _____ _____ to a holy man
enjoy lying
We're all a little weird, we like to think theres someone weirder. I'm sure some of you are looking at me going 'At least I'm not as weird as Gaffigan.' And then I'm thinking 'At least I'm not as weird as those people in the looney bin.' And the people in the looney bin are going 'Well, at least I'm an _____.'
Whenever I'm in church I always have this very introspective look on my face, but I'm really thinking, 'Did I go to_____ twice yesterday?'
I married a woman who loves to camp and I am what you would call _____.
I wonder what the directions are on a box of Lean Pockets: 'Remove from box, place directly in _____.'
I don’t know much about the bible myself. I haven’t _____it. ‘Cause I don’t _____to. ‘Cause I’m a Catholic
read have
Last time i went camping i got a pamphlet that said if a bear approaches i'm supposed to play dead. Really? We're going to rely on my _____ _____?
acting skills
My wife's gotten really lazy, or as she calls it, '_____.'
Level 36
Feb 26, 2014
It is not accepting diarrhea as the answer. I typed it in multiple times, but it never took it...
Level 91
Feb 26, 2014
I fixed it. Hope it works now!